


Kinks 101

by Deescent



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Books, Fluff and Smut, Kinks, M/M, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-07-12 07:06:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15990167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deescent/pseuds/Deescent
Summary: Jinyoung loves to read, and Jaebum often secretly admired Jinyoung when the younger was lost in a good book. Jaebum even paid attention to what kinds of books Jinyoung reads, until one day, Jinyoung was reading a seemingly blank book. Jaebum's curiosity is piqued, and even more so, when Jinyoung refuses to give any information about the book he was reading. But when Jaebum finds out what that mysterious book is about, it pushes him to make a move that changes everything between them.orJinyoung is reading a book that gets both of them "riled up" (sexually) and they take it from there. ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ummm idk how I came up with this lol it's kinda weird but enjoy it I guess.

Jinyoung liked to read. It was something he did often, and he was constantly adding to the collection of books he owned in his room. Jaebum also liked to read, but his favorite thing to do was to watch Jinyoung settle himself in a seat and bury himself in a book.

Every time Jinyoung would get lost in his reading, and Jaebum was nearby, the elder would always find himself drawn to Jinyoung. He often caught himself staring at Jinyoung, just admiring his concentrated features as his eyes quickly scanned over the pages. Jaebum also always had admired the fact that Jinyoung only purchased paper books rather than download them online, which gave Jaebum a more comfortable view of the younger’s face. Jinyoung seemed the most relaxed when he’s reading, his natural looks being showcased as he falls away from the world around him to focus on the pages of words in front of him.

Jaebum really couldn’t keep his eyes off of Jinyoung when he was in that state, he was too enraptured by the younger’s natural beauty, and no matter how hard he tried to occupy himself with something else, or even his own book, he would still end up resting his eyes on Jinyoung. The crush Jaebum had on Jinyoung was no secret in his mind, he knew full and well about his attraction to the younger. He often shamelessly appreciated each part of Jinyoung's face and body, from his soft skin and delicate lips to his arms that were slowly starting to tone up and his voluptuous figure.

Jaebum just drank in all of him, addicted to just staring at the younger as if Jinyoung were a drug. Jaebum knew that a crush to this capacity couldn’t be a good thing, especially not on his friend and co-worker of many years now. Yet the way Jaebum thought of Jinyoung was equivalent to his feelings towards his cats and strawberry milk: sweet and irresistible. From the younger’s snarky slick tongue, to just the way his eyes narrowed mischievously when he’s planning to attack another member with his words, Jaebum could never get enough of him, often being amused and enamoured by Jinyoung's wit and charm.

Jaebum is convinced that Jinyoung gets these qualities from how often he reads, with the vast variety of authors using different writing styles and a wide range of vocabulary, Jaebum wasn’t surprised that Jinyoung was a more refined, sharp minded, yet cleverly playful individual. Jaebum was constantly intrigued by his words and actions, and the day that they were in the dressing room preparing for their group's performance was no different.

Jaebum was in the midst of getting his hair styled when Jinyoung had just finished getting his done, sitting off to the side and rummaging through his bag to retrieve something. Jaebum watched the younger through the mirror, already assuming that the item he was searching for was a book. Of course Jaebum had guessed correctly since he was used to Jinyoung usual routine. He gets his hair and makeup done, reads for a while, then prepares for going on stage.

Jaebum often kept track of what Jinyoung read, not in a way where he’d discuss the books with the younger or keep a list of the ones he’s read, but he’d always glance at the book cover and take note of the look and title of it, saving it in his mind for later research. Though the others might not be interested in reading all too much (besides Yugyeom, who seemed to have recently picked up the hobby) Jaebum was still the only other one who could really relate to Jinyoung when it came to books. Jaebum knew that Jinyoung's personality reflected what he read, so Jaebum would take it upon himself to delve deeper into Jinyoung's mind, finding out what the younger likes or dislikes, or even what inner troubles or feelings he may be facing, all based on what book he was currently reading.

Yet it seemed that Jinyoung had a different book than the previous one he had been absorbed in, since Jaebum didn’t recognize the one he pulled out of his bag. Jinyoung had been reading something different for about a week, but he must’ve finished it and moved on to the next book, and Jaebum was curious as to what it was. Jaebum squinted as subtle as he could into the mirror, trying to see the reflection of Jinyoung behind him more clearly. He was trying to read the title of the book, yet he couldn’t find it. The book itself seemed blank and plain, there was no pictures or gigantic words written on the cover. From where Jaebum sat, it just seemed like a dull light blue colored book, with no information about what it was about or what it entailed on the outside, not even on its spine.

Jaebum thought that didn’t seem right though. Books always have writing on the outside, especially the spine. How else would someone like Jinyoung, who kept a library of books stacked up in his room, identify the one they were looking for? Jaebum decided to just blame his failing eyesight, as he couldn’t really see that far away in the first place. He assumed that there was most likely a title and words on the book, and it was just a bit too blurry for him to see.

Jaebum became really curious though, as the longer he watched Jinyoung read the book, the more he wanted to know about it. What was on Jinyoung mind recently? What could he be going through or thinking that he wanted to educate himself more on this time? What genre was it even? Jinyoung didn’t read much fiction books, but occasionally he would indulge in them, so Jaebum wanted to know what had caught his interest. It was obviously impossible to tell, so Jaebum waited,somewhat impatiently, for the stylist to finish up his hair so he could get a closer look at whatever Jinyoung was reading.

It seemed like it took forever for the stylist to finish with Jaebum’s hair, they kept trying to perfect this one stubborn curl that Jaebum literally couldn’t care any less about. Yet once he stood up, he thanked them for their hard work anyway, knowing that they were just doing their job. His mind wasn’t on the stylist though, his mind was on Jinyoung, and Jaebum nearly beelined over to the younger to take a peak at what he was reading.

Jaebum sat down quietly on the couch next to Jinyoung, not wanting to disturb the younger who seemed to be in deep concentration. Now that he was up close, Jaebum could see Jinyoung's features well, and he almost got lost in staring at the younger again, if it weren’t for Jinyoung turning the page for Jaebum to snap out of it. He meant to look at the book anyway, to check its title so Jaebum could look it up later. Yet, Jaebum’s eyes weren’t deceiving him when he was sitting across the room in the stylists chair just moments ago. He failed to gain any information on the book because it was indeed a completely blank book cover, with absolutely nothing on it. Jaebum was a bit shocked, never seeing a completely naked book like that before.

Usually, hard cover books with nothing on them have a book sleeve that’s purpose is to protect the book from damage, but also serves as the books graphic images that initially draw readers to it and shows the title in large and attractive font. Yet this book had none of it, and it wasn’t even a hardcover book. 

At Jaebum’s closer inspection, he realized that the completely blank cover wasn’t actually the cover, it was instead a book sleeve. He realized that Jinyoung had covered the book with a blank book sleeve that kids usually buy from the dollar store, which Jaebum found weird, because Jinyoung doesn't usually do that. Jinyoung was always very careful, never leaving his book in a place where it’s pages could get be torn, ruined, or messed up in any kind of way. Jinyoung didn’t need a protective covering for his books because he protected the books himself from any possible danger. Jaebum has never seen Jinyoung use a book sleeve before, so this must have been a recent purchase, and the mystery of it all only sparked Jaebum's curiosity more.

He wanted to know what Jinyoung was reading, but the book sleeve covered the whole front and back covers, so Jaebum couldn’t see even the tiniest bit of information. He was curious as to why Jinyoung even had the book sleeve to begin with, as that wasn’t something Jinyoung would normally buy or use. Jaebum was a bit confused, and he hated to interrupt Jinyoung in this state where he’s so drawn into his reading, but Jaebum just had to ask.

“What are you reading?” Jaebum suddenly felt bad for interrupting the younger, watching as Jinyoung jolted out of his concentration.

Jinyoung immediately closed the book, placing his hand on his chest as he let out a long breath. “You startled me…”

“Oh, sorry, I was just wondering, what book is that?” Jaebum asked, feeling genuinely apologetic for bothering Jinyoung while occupied in his book.

Jinyoung's eyes immediately narrowed in that familiar way they do when he’s about to use that sharp tongue of his. “Since when did you care about what I’m reading?”

Jaebum shrugged in response, but little did Jinyoung know that Jaebum has always cared about what he was reading, he found it interesting to see what Jinyoung was intrigued by. “I just… wanted to know I guess.”

“Oh. Well, what I’m reading is none of your business.” Jinyoung stated as he started to put his book away.

Jaebum was way caught off guard with that answer. He couldn’t stop his jaw from dropping a bit before realizing it had, quickly closing his mouth and trying to recover from the initial shock. He didn’t know why Jinyoung gave him that response, but he sure wasn’t ready for it. He just wanted to know what Jinyoung was reading, why is it all of a sudden not his business?

Well, Jaebum couldn’t argue with Jinyoung, since it was true that what Jinyoung was reading really had nothing to do with him. Yet Jinyoung's refusal to tell Jaebum the title of the book only intrigued him more. Why didn’t Jinyoung want him to know the title? Did it have something to do with that book sleeve? Was Jinyoung hiding the book he was reading from outside eyes? Why would he need to hide it though? Jaebum was suddenly filled with questions that he needed answers to.

“Well… then, can you tell me what it’s about at least?” Jaebum asked, hoping to get at least a bit of information from Jinyoung.

Yet Jinyoung was a stubborn one, and any information he had about the book wasn’t information he was willing to give up. “Again, not your business.”

Jaebum didn’t want to seem upset about Jinyoung's refusal to answer, so he just shrugged it off and acted as if he didn’t care, when in actuality, Jaebum was even more inquisitive of Jinyoung's book. The younger was keeping it a secret, Jaebum figured, yet he didn’t know why. What type of book would Jinyoung hide from, not only Jaebum, but everyone with a book sleeve? What was Jinyoung reading that was so personal, or confidential, or possibly  _ embarrassing _ , that he not only withheld the title, but also the contents of the book?

Jaebum couldn’t even begin to wonder. He knew the usual types of books Jinyoung read, but with this such unusual behavior, it had to be an unusual book that the younger was into this time. Jaebum eagerly wanted to find out, but he didn’t want to question the younger anymore, and he couldn’t ponder much on it since the group was just about ready to go on stage. Jaebum has to push the thought to the back of his mind for the time being, but he surely won’t forget it.

And Jaebum proved that he didn’t forget it, since by the end of their performance, he was already eyeing Jinyoung's bag that contained this mysterious book. Jaebum wanted to see what was so secretive about this book, but Jinyoung was the type to hold onto his bag as if his life depended on it, therefore leaving Jaebum with no openings to steal a glance at the novel. Jaebum still couldn’t keep his mind off of it the rest of the day, his thoughts often leading back to that blue covered book that Jinyoung absolutely did not want him to see. Just by the way Jinyoung jolted in his seat earlier when Jaebum had talked to him, and how he quickly closed the book and put it away, showed how much Jinyoung didn’t want anyone to know what he was reading. Yet Jaebum still thought about it, even if it was against Jinyoung's wishes.

Seeing the book at random intervals in the day didn’t help either. The group had a radio interview later that day, but Jaebum barely focused on the host of the show. Instead, he kept glancing at the little sliver of blue he saw peeking out of Jinyoung's bag. Jaebum had also caught Jinyoung reading the book again in the waiting room to a variety show filming, but he didn’t disturb the younger this time, just keeping his distance and watching. Jaebum’s curiosity increased every time he saw that book, and it skyrocketed when he’d see Jinyoung make certain faces at what he was reading. Some were of disgust and others were of indifference, but Jinyoung usually isn’t so expressive when he’s reading something. That only made the question burning in Jaebum’s head sear into his brain even more: what the hell was he reading?

Jaebum only wanted to know the title of the book at first, but by the time the group had gotten back home, he wanted to open it up and read it for himself. He was  _ extremely _ intrigued by this little blue covered book, and all he could do was think about was what he’d find inside of its hidden covers. Jaebum was just as avid of a reader as Jinyoung, so of course he was trembling with curiosity to know what Jinyoung has been reading, but he didn’t know how he could get the younger to tell him.

As the group walked in, they put their shoes and bags by the door, most of them just lazily throwing their things to the floor and going off to occupy themselves with something. Jinyoung rarely ever treats his personal belongings like that, unless he was extremely tired and careless, or drunk. As he locked the front door, Jaebum watched Jinyoung out of the corner of his eye take off his shoes and neatly moved them to the side so others could walk by. Then, he set his bag down gently, propping it up out of the way as well, before walking off to his room.

Jaebum looked at the bag, his thoughts immediately going to the book. He wondered if it was still in there, or if Jinyoung had taken it with him to his room. Jaebum hadn’t seen the younger walk off with it, but he wasn’t paying all that much attention, since he didn’t want to seem weird by staring at Jinyoung for such a long time. Jaebum walked passed the bag, feeling that maybe he should wait a little while before shamelessly snooping through Jinyoung's things. At least until Jinyoung was asleep, then Jaebum wouldn’t feel all that bad about it.

Jaebum wasn’t that type of person anyway. He didn’t want to invade Jinyoung's privacy by sticking his nose in places it wasn’t supposed to be in. Yet, Jaebum  _ really _ wanted to know what that book was about. He wanted to know why Jinyoung seemed to be hiding it from everyone, and why the hell he started reading it in the first place. Jaebum had so many questions, and Jinyoung, being his annoying and mischievous, yet adorable self, had answered none. Or rather,  _ refused _ to answer them.

Jaebum sat on the couch in the living room, wanting to relax with some T.V. dramas after a long day. He turned the television on, just flipping through the channels, yet he found himself not paying much attention as his mind kept wandering back to Jinyoung's secret book. Jaebum could see Jinyoung's bag from where he sat on the couch, and his eyes kept darting over to it. It was just over there, and it would only take a minute or so to run over, look inside, check the book title, and then put it back. Jinyoung was in his room, so now would be the perfect time to do so. Jaebum wasn’t much of the sneaky or swift type, but he felt he could snatch a peek at Jinyoung's book if he did it quickly.

He hesitated a bit, feeling as if he were about to do something wrong. He shouldn’t go in Jinyoung's bag, but they’re we’re close enough friends that it didn’t really matter, right? Jinyoung's things are practically Jaebum’s things, and vice versa, since they are always sharing and borrowing each other’s belongings. Therefore, even though snooping through someone’s bag is morally wrong, Jaebum didn’t think he should feel too bad about it… should he?

The moment Jaebum took of hesitation was too long though, since as soon as he considered actually making a move towards the bag, he heard a door open from down the hall, and his opening was lost. Of course the person that had walked out of their room and emerged from the hall into the living room had to be Jinyoung. Jaebum’s eyes immediately glued to the younger, and he noticed that Jinyoung changed out of his everyday clothes into his more comfortable T-shirt and shorts. 

Jaebum loved the diversity Jinyoung had, where during the day, he’d see Jinyoung dress in something like a fitted woven sweater with a button down shirt, nice pants, and shoes. In the evenings though and through the night, Jinyoung would change into worn out shorts, a T-shirt that was starting to form a hole in it, and occasionally a large sweater that just enveloped Jinyoung's whole body. Jaebum loved seeing him both ways, fit and form, to relaxed and casual. People never really saw the uncaring side of Jinyoung. The side where he’d eat something and carelessly drop crumbs down his chin. Or where he’d spill something on his shirt and would forget to clean the stain out. Jinyoung didn’t allow others besides the members to see that side of him, which only made this view of the younger feel more special.

Jaebum watched as Jinyoung quietly walked into the room, heading in the direction of where everyone had dropped their things. Jinyoung beelined for his bag, bending over to unzip the pockets, unknowingly giving Jaebum a view of his backside. Jaebum couldn’t help but stare. Who wouldn’t stare at Jinyoung's shapely body? Even though Jinyoung was wearing some untasteful pair of shorts, it didn’t hide how nice his body was. When Jinyoung was bent over, Jaebum could see the wonderful curve of his cheeks, his butt looking as pillowy and soft as ever. Unfortunately though, Jinyoung stood back up not long after, and Jaebum was too busy admiring the younger’s bottom to notice that Jinyoung had came to retrieve the mystery book.

Jaebum stared at the blue covered book held tightly in Jinyoung's clutches as he realized that the chance he had to check the title had passed, he had waited too long. It was his hesitation that really messed up his plan, he was too afraid to actually go through Jinyoung's bag to see the book. Jaebum wished he was a bit more daring like some of the other members, but he just wasn't the type to take risks like that.

His eyes went from the book up to jinyoung's face, and as if on cue, Jinyoung looked over at a Jaebum, their eyes locking for a brief moment. Of course, with Jinyoung it couldn’t be just a quick glance at each other, and then that’s it, the moments over. Of course not, because Jinyoung was Jinyoung, and he was playful and often mischievous, and Jaebum swore that sometimes, Jinyoung's whole goal was to make his life harder. Jinyoung unsurprisingly, had the audacity to smirk at Jaebum as he walked by, their eyes never leaving each other until Jinyoung had walked back down the hallway. Jaebum swore Jinyoung knew what he was doing. It was like Jinyoung read his mind about that damn book, and he knew that he was foiling Jaebum’s plans to retrieve it. It was honestly just an innocent smirk, but Jaebum couldn’t stop his heart from nearly leaping out of his chest. It almost felt like Jinyoung knew Jaebum liked him, yet the younger just kept playing with him.

Jaebum sighed, partially from trying to calm his rapidly beating heart, but also because of the fact that he had lost his chance to grab that book. Jaebum hated the feeling of not knowing, maybe it was his leader instincts of just having to know everything that was kicking in, but either way, he hated it. Jaebum wanted to just find out what Jinyoung was reading, that was all. He didn’t imagine it to be this difficult, but Jinyoung kept that book stuck to himself like glue, almost never letting out of his sights. Jaebum thought that maybe he was caring too much about it, and he was overreacting. Maybe Jinyoung just started using a book sleeve to cover his books because he heard that they were good at protecting them. And maybe Jaebum should just mind his business and leave Jinyoung to read whatever he pleased.

Or maybe, Jinyoung was hiding a part of him that he didn’t want others to see. Maybe Jinyoung was reading something too crazy or inappropriate to just casually carry around. Then again, Jinyoung has read “Fifty Shades of Grey”, and even with the contents of that book, Jinyoung didn’t hide it away from others. He just read it like he usually did and moved on. So what was up with this book? What was so peculiar about this particular book that Jinyoung felt the need to cover it with a book sleeve and keep it close to him wherever he goes? Jaebum couldn’t even begin to guess. Jinyoung read all sorts of things, so it wasn’t like he could narrow down the options. Maybe non-fiction? Since Jinyoung does seem to be reading more nonfiction nowadays, that would be a good guess of the genre. But then, what non-fiction book would Jinyoung want to hide?

Was he depressed, possibly? What he having dark thoughts that maybe he didn’t want the others to know about? If that’s the case, then Jaebum needed to know. What if Jinyoung was feeling bad about something, or about himself? What if he was blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault? What if he was contemplating hurting himself because of those awful thoughts in his head, so he turned to a book for help? The thought made Jaebum’s stomach churn, and he didn’t want to think about it anymore. Jaebum thought that if Jinyoung was struggling through something, then the younger would trust him or any of the other members enough to say something. Then again, Jinyoung is a pretty reserved person, so it made sense as to why he wouldn’t share his hardships.

Jaebum now worried about the younger. Even though Jinyoung seemed fine, it’s always that someone who is really struggling with something smiles on the outside and frowns on the inside. Jaebum really hoped that wasn’t the case. But thinking of the possibilities that it might be only worried Jaebum even more. At this point, Jaebum  _ had _ to know what Jinyoung was reading. Even if it wasn’t his business, Jaebum had probable cause to go and check it out. He didn’t know how he would retrieve the book though. Jinyoung is keeping it nearly under lock and key, so how was Jaebum supposed to get it and see what book it is?

Suddenly, just as Jaebum had asked himself that question, he could hear yelling from down the hallway. He immediately listened to it, obviously wanting to know what all the commotion was about.

“Jinyoung please? It would only take a few minutes!” Jaebum could hear Jackson whine from down the hall.

Jinyoung mumbled something inaudible to Jaebum’s ears, but it sounded as if it were in protest of whatever Jackson was begging him to do.

“Come on, just show us how to do it and we’ll leave you alone.” Yugyeom's voice came, also from down the hall.

“Guys I’m tired…” Jaebum could hear Jinyoung complain more clearly as the three entered the living room with Jackson and Yugyeom tugging Jinyoung along towards the kitchen.

“We just want milkshakes and you make the best ones, just give us the recipe, please?” Jackson pleaded as they walked through the room into the kitchen.

Jaebum heard Jinyoung sigh, it was that sigh that Jinyoung did whenever he was giving in to something he didn’t want to do. “Fine. Just listen carefully, I’m not repeating the instructions.”

Jaebum watched as Jackson and Yugyeom celebrated, and the three disappeared into the kitchen, Jaebum again only able to hear their voices. Jaebum always notices how giving and nice Jinyoung was. Even when he absolutely didn’t want to do something, if you beg him enough times, Jinyoung would always give in and do it. It was that nice side of Jinyoung that occasionally popped out, even though Jinyoung was often playfully mean. It was all just an act, it was his way of messing with the others, but in actuality, Jinyoung was a sweetheart who can be persuaded to do anything for you, if you ask him nicely.

Jaebum especially loved that about him, and he wished he could do more for someone whose so giving. Jaebum realized just then though, that Jinyoung's giving personality might have just gave him the opening he'd been looking for. He saw Jinyoung head back to his room with the book earlier, but just then, as Jackson and Yugyeom dragged him into the kitchen, there was no signs of it anywhere, meaning that it's probably somewhere in Jinyoung's room. Making milkshakes only takes a few minutes, but teaching someone how to make one takes a bit longer, so Jaebum knew that Jinyoung would be in the kitchen for at least 10 minutes. Jinyoung is also a thorough teacher, so even though he threatened the two that he would not repeat his instructions, Jaebum knew that he would repeat them as many times necessary until he's confident that they've learned something.

Jaebum waited a minute or two, knowing that hesitation could lower the chances he had to sneak away. He just wanted to make sure that Jinyoung wasn't coming out anytime soon, and he listened for Jinyoung's voice, which was in the middle of giving instructions on how much ice cream you should put in the blender to make a perfect milkshake. Jaebum thought that now was his time, and that if he waited any longer, his window of opportunity would close. He quietly got up from the couch and headed out of the room, leaving the television running so that the others would think he's still in that same spot on the couch.

He tiptoed quickly down the hallway, acting as if just walking down the hall was something he wasn't supposed to be doing. Everyone walks into each others rooms casually, no one really cares, but Jaebum was going into Jinyoung's room to snoop in his stuff. That wasn't something that all the members did, but again, Jaebum had probable cause. He needed to see what book Jinyoung was hiding from him, not only because of curiosity, but to make sure the younger was okay.

As Jaebum walked up to Jinyoung's room, he took a quick last glance down the hallway to see if Jinyoung, or anyone else, was coming or could see him. When he saw that he was in the clear, he gently opened the door, walking into Jinyoung's room quietly. Jaebum stayed quiet, as if just the slightest noise could alert anyone that he was sneaking around Jinyoung's room. The lamp was on, which made it easier for Jaebum to quickly look around and find that book.

His eyes scanned the room, occasionally darting to the door to make sure no one was coming or would see him. It only took a quick few seconds of looking around to find the familiar blue color of the book’s book sleeve, which was resting on the nightstand next to Jinyoung's bed. Jaebum quickly walked over to it, hesitating before he picked it up.

Checking the title of this book would be an invasion of privacy, would it? It's just a book, and Jaebum was curious and concerned about Jinyoung's well being, so of course it had to be okay to just take a peek. Just to make sure Jinyoung was okay. It was understandable to be worried about someone who was suddenly acting strange and doing strange things. But could Jaebum really count Jinyoung putting his book in a book sleeve and not sharing the details of the book strange? It was definitely unusual for Jinyoung, but it wasn't completely out of the ordinary behavior.

Yet Jaebum still convinced himself that he had a good reason for doing this. He kept repeating in his mind that it was just a book. Even if Jinyoung caught him trying to look at it, how angry could he get? Sure he’d be a bit upset about Jaebum going into his room without permission and touching his belongings without asking, but that's about it. The repercussions didn't seem that bad, so Jaebum just went for it.

He reached down for the book, feeling the slightly heavy weight of it in his hand. He wondered what it could be about, but he didn't have to for much longer, as he carefully started to peel back the sleeve. Jaebum made sure to be careful, not wanting to leave any obvious traces of him tampering with the book. Jinyoung was the type to notice even the smallest thing out of place, so Jaebum was extra cautious of how he found the book, and would make sure that he leaves everything exactly the way it originally was when he left.

Jaebum pulled back the sleeve just far enough so he could see the title, but not completely off. He didn't want to struggle with having to put it back on, so he made it easy and pulled it back just enough to take a peek. Jaebum finally got to see what Jinyoung has been reading seemingly all day. Jinyoung seemed to be really intrigued with the book, and Jaebum was just waiting for this opportunity to know what the hell type of book Jinyoung had his nose in. 

Jaebum's eyes scanned the actual cover of the book, and once they had rested on the title of it, Jaebum's jaw nearly dropped. Jaebum had expected maybe a self help book, or maybe a biography of someone controversial. He thought that it could have been a suicide prevention book or how to deal with depression. He could see Jinyoung being interested in any of those things, but this? This book that Jaebum was holding in his hands, was totally unexpected, totally out of the norm, totally  _ not _ Jinyoung. Or… maybe it was?

Was this a side of Jinyoung that Jaebum had yet to explore? Jaebum hadn't even known about it, let alone explore it. This is what Jinyoung was hiding from everyone all along? Jaebum could now understand why Jinyoung wanted to keep this a secret. This book, let alone this genre of book, wasn't something any normal person would just carry around with them out in the open. Oh no, not this.

“Kinks 101” in large print was written in bold letters across the cover of the book. Jaebum could only reread the title to make sure he was seeing it correctly.

Oh. Oh  _ this _ was something interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

Jaebum could barely sleep much that night. He was shocked beyond belief; the moment he laid his eyes upon the title of that book, was the moment he realized that he didn't know Jinyoung as well as he thought he had. The two would often say that they knew each other like the back of their hands, but obviously some things about Jinyoung are not as well known to Jaebum.

As soon as he took a glance at the book title, he quickly placed it back on the nightstand and left Jinyoung's room, hurrying out as to not get caught. He went off to his own room, needing a minute to get his mind together. ‘ _ Kinks 101 _ ’? Is that seriously what Jinyoung had been reading? And not just in the privacy of his own room, but out in the open, in front of everyone? Well, he did have a book sleeve on it, and Jaebum could understand the reason for it now. The looks of judgement and disgust Jinyoung would get for walking around with that type of book would be too much for him to handle. Not to mention what would happen if a fan spotted it, it would spread across the Internet like wildfire and Jinyoung would have a hard time showing his face again.

But it made sense now. It all made sense. Why Jinyoung had bought the book sleeve, why he refused to tell Jaebum the title of it or what the book was about, why he kept the book so close to him all day. Jaebum completely understood all of that now. But what he couldn’t even begin to wrap his mind around was why the hell Jinyoung had a book titled ‘ _ Kinks 101 _ ’.

Jaebum decided to do some research, like he usually does when he finds out what book Jinyoung was reading nowadays. He opened up his browser and typed in the title of the book, the results coming up quickly. Jaebum tapped the first result, which immediately gave him a summary of the book.

‘ _ Kinks 101 is just what the title says, a book all about kinks! It answers any questions you have about them, and teaches you about some popular, and some rare kinks! Kinks are fun additions to normal sexual activity, so if you’re ready to spice up your bedroom, don’t be afraid to indulge!’ _

Jaebum still couldn’t get his mind around it. Jinyoung wasn’t that type of person… was he? Jaebum couldn’t say that he’s never thought of Jinyoung in a sexual way; Jinyoung actually happened to be the main character of many of Jaebum’s wet dreams. But Jaebum has never thought about Jinyoung having a kink, or even just reading a book about them. Even with Jinyoung's manly charm, he just seemed a bit to pure and clean minded to even know about kinks. But maybe that’s why he was reading the book. Maybe Jinyoung was educating himself on the hundreds of kinks out there. And maybe… maybe Jinyoung had one.

Jaebum could only wonder, what was Jinyoung's kink? Many people have one. Hell, a lot of people have multiple kinks. It was definitely a normal thing to have. But what was Jinyoung's? What did Jinyoung enjoy so much during intimate moments that drove him absolutely crazy? Jaebum could only imagine. And late that night, that’s all Jaebum did.

Jaebum could only envision Jinyoung's body shuddering under him as he did something that piqued the younger’s arousal. What could Jinyoung like though? He didn’t seem like much of a BDSM person, yet how could Jaebum rule that out after finding a whole book about kinks on the younger’s nightstand? Or maybe Jinyoung was into moaning. But Jaebum couldn’t imagine Jinyoung getting off from someone’s noises of pleasure. Or maybe he could? It was hard to even imagine, since Jaebum had (for the most part) thought of Jinyoung in such a pure light. He couldn’t figure out what the younger might like, because he didn’t even think Jinyoung was into that stuff.

But Jaebum knows better now. Jaebum knows that Jinyoung is intrigued by  _ something _ about kinks, or else the younger wouldn’t have even picked up the book. Jaebum knows that Jinyoung probably has a kink, or maybe Jinyoung is curious to find his kink. Either way, this newfound knowledge definitely shone a different light on Jinyoung. Jaebum couldn’t look at him in the same way he had been. There was a side of Jinyoung that Jaebum knew absolutely nothing about, and Jaebum was again, curious.

The saying goes something like ‘curiosity killed the cat’, but Jaebum was already in too deep to even care. He wanted to know what drove Jinyoung to read that book, and why he was so intrigued by that subject. Jinyoung had suddenly became a mystery to Jaebum, and Jaebum was the type to love figuring him out. Every new thing he learned about Jinyoung gave Jaebum a renewed sense of fondness of the other, and this situation was no exception. Jaebum was shocked, but he still had that ‘need to know’ attitude, and Jaebum was definitely going to find out more.

That was his intentions the next day, an hour or so after eating breakfast, when he saw Jinyoung sitting on the couch, nose buried in that blue colored book. When he walked in, Jinyoung hadn’t even noticed Jaebum since he was too focused on the book, but Jaebum’s eyes laid on Jinyoung immediately. Jaebum couldn’t find a more perfect moment to confront the younger, but he couldn’t do it upfront. He didn’t want to scare Jinyoung away, so he decided to take it somewhat slow, walking around the coffee table and taking a seat on the couch next to the younger.

As soon as Jaebum sat down, Jinyoung jolted, startled again by the elder’s presence. He then glanced at Jaebum before shifting his body away, as if he felt that Jaebum was a bit too close. Jinyoung was probably worried about Jaebum being able to read the words on the page of his book, so he moved away to make sure he couldn’t. But little did Jinyoung know, that Jaebum knew all about that book he was reading, and Jaebum was just waiting for the perfect time to strike.

Jaebum glanced over at Jinyoung, noticing how uncomfortable he suddenly looked when he joined the younger on the couch. The last time Jaebum had talked to Jinyoung while he was reading, Jinyoung immediately closed the book and put it away. This time, Jaebum could see in just Jinyoung's body language how awkward he felt, and Jaebum could only admire how cute Jinyoung was. He knew why Jinyoung felt weird, since he was literally reading a book about kinks right next to Jaebum. Yet Jinyoung tried to hold his ground, staying seated on the couch and just turning his body away so that Jaebum couldn’t sneak a glance at what he was reading. Not like he needed to anyway.

After a few minutes, Jaebum looked over again at Jinyoung and he was back to focusing on reading. Jaebum could sit there and watch Jinyoung read all day, just staring at his beautiful features. But Jaebum was there for something else, and he felt that now was a perfect time to confront Jinyoung about that book. The others were in their rooms, out of earshot, and it was just him and Jinyoung sitting quietly together in the living room, how much better of a moment could it be?

“What are you reading?” Jaebum asked, a repetition of the question yesterday.

Jinyoung's head whipped around from his book to Jaebum’s face, his body shifting a bit uncomfortably where he sat. “Uh, didn’t we go through this yesterday?”

Jaebum had for some reason hoped that Jinyoung would just tell him the truth, and admit that he was reading a book about kinks. Yet the younger still kept the answer to himself, disappointing Jaebum only a little.

“Yes, we did, but I'd really like to know.” Jaebum stated, his eyes never leaving Jinyoung's face.

“I told you, it’s none of your business.” Jinyoung said, repeating his answer from the day before.

Jaebum knew Jinyoung would be like this, meaning that he'd just had to keep pushing. “I know, but I just think it’s a bit weird that your book has no title, or description.”

Jinyoung looked at the cover of the book as if he hadn’t noticed it before. He then looked back at Jaebum, his eyebrows furrowing. “It has a book sleeve on it.”

Jaebum nodded his head as if he hadn’t noticed the book sleeve, even though that was the first thing he noticed about it. “Oh… but…. when did you start using book sleeves?”

Jinyoung just shrugged, looking back at the book. “When I wanted to start protecting my books, I guess.”

Jaebum was trying hard to subtly bring up the subject of the book, but of course Jinyoung wouldn’t budge a bit. But that’s something Jaebum loves about the younger, how he’s willing to hold up a strong argument, no matter how much you try to break it down.

Jaebum was determined though, to get those answer that he wanted about that book. “Do you mind if I see it then?”

Jinyoung looked at Jaebum with an incredulous look on his face, hugging the book close to his body. “N-No. No you can’t.”

Jaebum smirked, knowing that he was starting to back Jinyoung into a corner. “Why not? Is there something you don’t want me to see?”

Jinyoung hesitantly shook his head, the book still pressed snugly against his chest. “No… I just… it’s  _ my _ book, and I don’t want you to see it.”

Jaebum hummed in response, moving a bit closer to the younger. “So, you don’t want me to see the book, you don’t want me to know the title, and you don’t want me to even know what it’s about? That sounds really suspicious to me.”

Jinyoung moved away awkwardly, but he didn’t really have anywhere to go, since his back was pressed again the arm of the couch. “Well… it’s not suspicious to me. Why do you even care so much?”

Jaebum shrugged in response. “I just think that someone who so desperately wants to keep something from me has something they want to hide. So, what are you hiding, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung shook his head, his eyes darting quickly around the room. “I’m… I-Im not hiding anything, Jaebum…”

“Then let me see the book.” Jaebum demanded.

“No.” Jinyoung denied.

Jaebum couldn’t help but laugh. He found it way too cute how Jinyoung was standing his ground, unwilling to spill what Jaebum already knew anyway. He loves how determined Jinyoung is to keep his secret, and can only admire the younger and his adorable attitude.

“What’s… so funny?” Jinyoung asked, sounding unsure if he even wanted to know.

Jaebum shook his head, getting the last of his chuckles out. “I just find it funny how you really don’t want me to see that book.”

“I don’t find that funny…” Jinyoung said, his face not even showing a hint of amusement.

“It’s because you’re scared of me knowing.” Jaebum said.

“Knowing what?” Jinyoung asked, playing dumb even though he knew full and well what he didn’t want others to know.

“You’re interest in kinks.” Jaebum stated, serving out the line as casually as possible.

He watched Jinyoung take a moment to absorb what Jaebum had just said before his jaw nearly hit the floor, the younger’s eyes widening as Jaebum seemed to have just read his mind. Jinyoung's grip on the book loosened, as he was too in shock to even pay attention to it anymore. Jaebum could literally see the questions Jinyoung had running through the younger’s head, and he gave Jinyoung a minute to get himself together.

“H-How… How d-did you…” Jinyoung couldn’t even finish the question, too caught off guard to even finish a full thought.

“Just a guess.” Jaebum stated smugly, not bringing up the fact that he snooped around in Jinyoung's room the night before.

Jaebum saw how the book was slipping out of Jinyoung's hand, and in one swift motion he reached out and took it from the unsuspecting younger.

“Wait, J-Jaebum…” Jinyoung stuttered once he registered what just happened.

“You don’t mind me flipping through the pages a bit, do you?” Jaebum asked, knowing that Jinyoung definitely did mind, but he was already opening the book anyway.

“Jaebum, don’t!” Jinyoung suddenly exclaimed, reaching for the book to snatch it back.

Jaebum leaned away though keeping the book out of Jinyoung's reach.

“Jaebum!” Jinyoung called out desperately.

Jaebum ignored Jinyoung's calls though, flipping quickly through the pages of the book. He was astonished at how much information was in the book, but then again, it was all about kinks. It  _ should _ have a lot of information. There were sections of the book labeled things such as ‘What is a kink?’, ‘What Does Having a Kink do in the Bedroom?’, How to Identify Your Kink’, ‘Different Types of Kinks’, etc… 

Jaebum didn’t even know that kinks were this complicated and deep, he just knew that they felt good. He assumed Jinyoung didn’t know either, which is probably why he got the book in the first place. As Jaebum kept turning the pages, he noticed that a few were folded in at the corner; they were bookmarked. Jaebum wondered why they were folded in, and Jinyoung must have bookmarked those pages for a reason.

“Why are certain pages folded?” Jaebum asked Jinyoung, who had given up on trying to retrieve his book back and decided to just accept the shame.

“I don’t know.” Jinyoung responded, his hands covering his face in pure embarrassment.

Jaebum thought he looked cute like that, and he realized just how much he loves everything about Jinyoung. There’s absolutely nothing Jinyoung could do that would turn Jaebum's eyes away, everything was either overly cute or incredibly sexy. More than that, Jaebum knew that Jinyoung was lying out of embarrassment, which he found even cuter. Not the lying part, but the embarrassment part, that made Jaebum’s heart skip a beat.

Jaebum leaned over towards Jinyoung whose body was curled up against the arm of the couch. “Jinyoung, you’re lying.” He stated.

Jinyoung shook his head, never taking his hands off of his face. “I’m not.”

“You are.” Jaebum said, knowing for a fact that Jinyoung was lying. The pair had some sort of telepathy that both the members and the fans pointed out, and they both just knew when one was feeling truly happy, or sad, or upset— or when they were lying.

“J-Jaebum I’m not…” Jinyoung mumbled, unable to even face the elder at this point.

Jaebum sighed, then looked back at the pages. He took notes of the few that were folded, and realized that they were all pages of different kinks. There were quite a few folded pages, and Jaebum could take a really good, evidence based guess as to why Jinyoung noted those particular pages.

“Jinyoung, are these possibly… your favorites?” Jaebum asked, almost sure that was indeed what they were.

Jinyoung groaned in response, which told Jaebum that he was right on the mark with his guess. Jinyoung tried to bury himself more into the couch, obviously failing, and just making himself look a thousand times more adorable to Jaebum.

“So… this is what you like… or is it just… what you’re interested in?” Jaebum half stated and half asked, too busy reading through the pages to properly say what he wanted to.

“D-Don’t read it.” Jinyoung whined, his hand reaching out for the book again.

“Why not? I’m curious about it.” Jaebum stated, turning the pages to read more. “About what you’re interested in, to be specific.”

Jinyoung audibly gulped, and Jaebum only glanced over at him when he heard the noise. “Why… why are you curious about my… interests?” Jinyoung asked shyly, his hands lowering slightly from his face.

Jaebum just then realized that he might’ve said a bit too much, and he possibly could’ve just exposed himself. Of course Jinyoung isn’t the only one with a secret. Jaebum has had a crush on the younger for a while now, and he definitely never mentioned it to anyone, not even the other members. He kept that private and would just admire Jinyoung from afar, only wishing in his mind that the younger could be his. Just now though, he’d accidentally spoke of his interest in the younger, and he didn’t know how to save himself.

“Uh, well… I mean, I was just surprised that you were into this stuff in the first place.” Jaebum stated, hoping that turning the focus of the conversation back on to Jinyoung would help him avoid answering the younger’s question. “I was just wondering what you found so intriguing about it.”

Jinyoung looked down at the floor, the blush on his cheeks completely visible. “None of it interests me… I… I don’t know why I got the book. I just… found it.”

Jaebum gave Jinyoung a look of disapproval, knowing that Jinyoung had to be lying. Jaebum may not know Jinyoung as much as he thought, but he still knows a lot about him, and Jaebum knows that Jinyoung doesn’t just “find” books to read. Everything Jinyoung does has a meaning or purpose behind it, including what he reads. He only picks books that interest him, and books that he's not interested in gets sent back or donated immediately. Jinyoung was attracted to a book about kinks for a reason, and Jaebum wanted to know what that reason was.

“Is it because you’re interested in kinks?” Jaebum asked, his eyes widening a bit when he saw that one of the folded pages was about light BDSM.

“I said I don’t know, Jaebum stop looking at it!” Jinyoung said when he saw Jaebum’s face full of surprise. He made a move to grab the book again, with Jaebum just doing the same thing to keep it away from the younger.

“Jinyoung this is normal you know. Everyone pretty much has a kink, and if you’re interested then you should educate yourself.” Jaebum stated, wanting Jinyoung to relax a bit since the younger had been sitting there next to him awkwardly and stiff.

Jaebum knew this had to be a bit uncomfortable for Jinyoung, he would be uncomfortable too if someone had found out about something that he wanted to hide. Yet Jaebum wasn’t willing to just leave Jinyoung alone because of a bit of awkwardness. Jaebum was the stubborn type too, and once he gets his mind on something, it’s hard to get him off, which Jinyoung was desperately trying to do. 

Jaebum just wanted to know more, like what about the kinks on the folded pages grabbed Jinyoung's attention? Was Jinyoung just doing research on his own, or did someone or something spark his curiosity in this subject? And a question that he’s been asking from the start: what kinks did Jinyoung actually have? The bookmarked pages might just be some that Jinyoung was interested in, but Jaebum didn’t know if he  _ actually _ liked any of them. He needed more information, but the most he could do was ask Jinyoung, who seemed to be deflecting all of his questions.

“Are you… curious?” Jaebum asked, glancing up at Jinyoung.

“Jaebum…” Jinyoung whined in frustration, tired of the questioning and still extremely embarrassed.

Jaebum knew he was entering dangerous territory as his questions started becoming a bit more specific, and Jinyoung was a lot more reluctant to answer. Jinyoung sat as far away from Jaebum as possible, which wasn’t that far since Jaebum had sat pretty much right next to him. Jaebum could tell that Jinyoung was just having a hard time being in the room, but he hadn’t left yet, probably because he wanted his book back. That was just more of an incentive for Jaebum not to give it back though, because he was sure that if he did, Jinyoung would jump up and leave, hide the book somewhere, and act like none of this happened. Jaebum refused to allow that.

“Well then… let’s talk about the bookmarked pages.” Jaebum suggested, since Jinyoung didn’t answer anything as of yet.

“Jaebum, no.” Jinyoung said firmly.

“Why not? Aren’t you interested in them?” Jaebum asked, still assuming that the folded pages are the kinks that caught Jinyoung's attention.

“N-No… no I'm not…” Jinyoung mumbled, sounding unconfident with his answer.

Jaebum narrowed his eyes at Jinyoung, as he was becoming tired of the constant lies and denial. This had to be really embarrassing, but Jaebum had figured everything out at this point, why was Jinyoung still denying it all?

“Really?” Jaebum asked, testing to see if the younger would ever change his answer.

“Really… none of it interests me.” Jinyoung lied again through his teeth.

Jaebum nodded slowly, looking down at the current page he was on, which was the light BDSM one that he had noticed was folded earlier.

“So… your saying that BDSM isn’t something you like?” Jaebum asked, further cornering Jinyoung.

He could hear Jinyoung swallow hard, the younger noticeably trying to keep himself together. “No… I don’t even know what that is…”

“But… it says it right here in the book.” Jaebum pointed out. “And you folded this page.”

“No, I skipped that page.” Jinyoung stated, his lies becoming more tragic as they increased.

“Oh, so you skipped this page, but read every other page?” Jaebum asked.

“No. I read none of them…” Jinyoung said.

Jaebum sighed, shaking his head. “Jinyoung this is becoming sad now…”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Jinyoung's eyes refused to meet with Jaebum’s, staying glued to the floor.

“Your lies. There becoming tiring. Just say you’re into kinks and move on.” Jaebum said uncaringly, trying to show Jinyoung that it wasn’t a big deal. Even though in Jaebum’s mind, it was a huge deal, and it only added more to the day dreams and fantasies he had about Jinyoung.

“I’m not lying…” Jinyoung said, running his hand subconsciously through his hair.

Jaebum watched jinyoung's fingers rake through the messy strands of hair on his head, the action being something that Jinyoung did when he was nervous or in an odd situation. Jaebum knew that he had Jinyoung cornered now, and there was no way for the younger to deny anything at this point. Jaebum is convinced that Jinyoung knows this as well, but he’s just too stubborn to give in. Jaebum scooted a bit closer to Jinyoung, who literally couldn’t move any further away. 

“So…” Jaebum glanced down at the page, reading a line of it. “‘ _ BDSM consists of a variety of sexually stimulating practices including bondage…’ _ Well, let’s start there. Since you’ve  _ obviously _ bookmarked this page, something must’ve caught your eye. So, is bondage something you’re into?”

Jinyoung shook his head. “J-Jaebum I don’t know anything about- “

“What? Having your wrists tied to your bed frame so you’re restricted while someone pleasures you? You don’t know  _ anything _ about that?” Jaebum asked, his eyes boring into Jinyoung as he waited for the younger’s response.

Jinyoung's breath hitched, as he didn’t expect the conversation to take such a sudden turn. Jaebum saw Jinyoung's legs squeeze together as he shifted again where he sat. Jaebum knew that he kinda went a bit too far, but Jinyoung playing dumb was getting on his nerves, and at this point, he wanted to cut to the chase. Jinyoung still hadn’t even answered the question though, he just went quiet, but his cheeks glowed a deep pink.

“Okay… then what about…” Jaebum again glanced down at the book, reading another activity categorized under BDSM. “Spanking? Is that your thing?”

Jinyoung shook his head, unable to verbally answer at this point.

“Oh… I see…” Jaebum said with a nod. “So… if someone were to throw you over their lap and give a few light slaps to that bottom of yours, it wouldn’t arouse you at all?”

This time, Jinyoung didn’t say yes or no. He didn’t nod his head, nor shake it either. Instead, more of a choked whimpering sound left the younger’s throat, and judging by that, Jaebum knew he got him. He didn’t plant to be so explicit when confronting Jinyoung, but that seemed to be the only way Jinyoung would respond to him, so he continued.

“Or…” Jaebum flipped a few pages to another folded one. His eyes widening a bit as he read the page. “Rimming? That’s what you like too? Or you don’t know about that either?”

“J-Jaebum…” Jinyoung mumbled, his breath noticeably becoming slightly heavier as Jaebum went on. He covered his face with his hands again, the blush on his face deepening in hue.

“There’s also hair pulling bookmarked here….” Jaebum noticed, and Jinyoung looked as if he was going to drop dead any minute.

Jaebum was caught up in the moment, his own heart beating fast against his rib cage as he pictured Jinyoung with all of these kinks. Jaebum knew that things were probably getting a bit out of hand, but he felt this feeling of attraction inside him growing the more he read off Jinyoung's favorite kinks. All that played through his mind was Jinyoung being tied up in front of him, or Jinyoung and that pillowy ass of his thrown over his lap, or Jinyoung shuddering around him as he licks in between those plush cheeks. Jaebum knew these thoughts were impure, but he at least accepted them. Jinyoung didn’t want to accept his own impurities, but Jaebum knew that they were definitely existent.

“Jinyoung…” Jaebum called, his tone subconsciously dropping a few octaves.

Jinyoung almost choked on his own spit, unprepared for Jaebum’s suddenly super deep tone. There was absolutely nothing pure about the way Jaebum was looking at Jinyoung at this point, and Jinyoung definitely felt it. Jinyoung could barely keep eye contact, constantly looking away from Jaebum who was just inches away from him.

“...exactly how curious are you?” Jaebum asked.

Jinyoung seemed to have realized that lying at this point wouldn’t do him any good, as he just shrugged his shoulders in response, his eyes still not meeting with Jaebum's. Jaebum wanted to push more, to see if he’ll get more answers from Jinyoung. He could tell that Jinyoung wasn’t holding up against his questioning that well anymore, and it would take only a little bit more for him to break.

“Well…” Jaebum continued. “... is it to the point where… you’d wanna try it?”

Jinyoung's eyes widened, his full attention now directed to Jaebum for the first time in the past 10 minutes. “W-What?”

Jaebum licked his lips slowly, thinking about what he was asking Jinyoung, and how to word it in a way that doesn’t scare him off. “I’m just wondering… if you were in a hypothetical situation where… you could experience these kinks with another person… would you?”

Jinyoung looked completely speechless. “I… uh… I…” Jinyoung stuttered, having absolutely no idea how to respond.

“ I would.” Jaebum blurted out, again catching Jinyoung off guard.

Jaebum hadn’t really meant to say that so straight forward like he did, but Jinyoung was hesitant to say his true feelings, so Jaebum stepped up and said his own. He wasn’t lying, if he did have the opportunity to try out kinks that he was interested in with another person, he’d go for it. As long as that other person was Jinyoung. But he decided not to say that part.

Jinyoung didn’t seem to know what to say. He looked like he was getting ready to say something, but also like he was very hesitant to say it. He  looked… speechless. That’s the only way his expression could be described.

“Jinyoung?” Jaebum called, as it seems the younger has just frozen solid.

Jinyoung jolted out of his trans at the sound of his name. “Huh?”

“You didn’t answer my question. Would you want to try it?” Jaebum asked again, pushing harder for an answer.

“W-Would I… I… I don’t know…” Jinyoung repeated from earlier, his fingers fiddling nervously with the hem of his shirt.

Jaebum narrowed his eyes, thinking for a moment that he finally had Jinyoung where he wanted the younger. Instead though, he got another vague answer that wasn’t really an actual answer. Jaebum knew that his questioning must be overwhelming for Jinyoung, but he still requested and answer that he knew Jinyoung had, but wouldn’t give.

“Okay… well… what if we say that the person you’d get to… try these activities out with was someone you knew… personally?…” Jaebum asked, pushing at the boundaries a bit more.

Jinyoung looked visibly uncomfortable at hearing that question. Not in the awkward way though. No, this was a different sort of uncomfortable. Where the room would suddenly feel like it warmed by a few degrees, and your heart would pump incredibly fast, with a certain feeling pooling in your lower stomach area.  _ That _ was the sort of uncomfortable that Jinyoung  _ and _ Jaebum both were feeling between them.

“Um… I…” Jinyoung trailed off, his voice sounding weak.

Jaebum could still sense Jinyoung's hesitation, and he only pushed harder to rid of it. “It’s not that complicated of a question, Jinyoung. Would you like someone that you personally knew to explore your kinks with you?”

Jinyoung gulped, looking at the floor. “It… it depends… on who it is…”

Jaebum rejoiced in his mind at finally getting an actual answer from Jinyoung, it only taking the 15-20 or so minutes that they had been sitting there and discussing that damn book. Jinyoung's response only sparked another question that Jaebum didn’t know if he was bold enough to ask: Was  _ he _ someone that Jinyoung would want to experiment his kinks with? He wanted to ask, just to see what Jinyoung would say, but at the same time Jaebum wasn’t sure if he’d be prepared for a bad reaction from him. Except, Jinyoung seemed pretty favorably affected by the conversation, so Jaebum thought he should test the waters.

“What if…  _ hypothetically _ … that person was… me?” Jaebum asked.

Jinyoung looked as if he stopped breathing for a moment. Jaebum felt his own heart racing, as he knew how suggestive that question was, even if it was hypothetical. Jaebum didn't plan on going this far when confronting Jinyoung about the book, but one thing led to another, and now they were staring at each other with an intense heaviness in the air. Jaebum felt himself on edge, wondering if he'll regret suddenly asking such a dangerous question, knowing that he was taking a leap of faith towards Jinyoung.

Jaebum had imagined this moment differently; the moment where he'd suggest doing less than pure things with Jinyoung. Well, he’d only imagined it anyway, since he didn’t even have the guts to tell Jinyoung of his feelings for him. But nevertheless, he imagined it more romantic, where the mood was just right, and they’d both feel this unfightable sense of attraction towards each other, like magnets. Instead, there was still an undeniable sense of attraction, but it was more hesitant and a bit scary. Yet they both seemed curious, like they really wanted to indulge in their desires, but they weren’t sure if they should.

Jinyoung's eyes were wide and it seemed like he just couldn't find the right words to respond with. The younger only made it worse for Jaebum by driving his hand through his hair and slowly running his tongue over his dried lips, the action being out of nervousness, but it nearly killed Jaebum. There has been many times Jaebum had wanted Jinyoung, but none of them compared to this one. Jaebum has longed for Jinyoung in a more ‘family friendly’ way; just wanting to give the younger random hugs and light kisses, only on occasion thinking of Jinyoung in a more risqué manner. But right in this moment, where their eyes were locked on each other and the air felt thick and still, heat radiating from both of their bodies and desire dripping from their auras; Jaebum only had the most sinful of thoughts in mind.

The silence that had settled in the room was the only bit of awkwardness left, as Jinyoung still hadn’t answered the question. Yet Jaebum felt that there was a possibility that Jinyoung wanted exactly what he wanted, and just another little push could send them both over the line of boundaries. 

Jaebum leaned in closer to Jinyoung, their bodies so close now that they could feel the heat of each other gather between them. Jaebum lowered his voice to almost a soft mumble, as if he were telling a secret. “Jinyoung, would you like me to try these things with you?” He asked again, taking the gigantic risk of just asking the younger directly.

Jaebum knew that things could go completely wrong, and he knew that he was risking it all by pushing himself on to Jinyoung so much. The younger could just push him away, or yell at him, or tell Jaebum that he was insane and needed to back off. All of these things could happen, and Jaebum was very much aware of it. Yet, there was a sliver of hope Jaebum had, just by the way Jinyoung's cheeks glowed a soft pink, and his breathing quickened, and he kept squeezing his legs together uncomfortably; Jaebum had a feeling that maybe, just  _ possibly _ , Jinyoung would have the reaction that hoped he hoped for.

“Yes...” Jinyoung responded in a whisper after a moment of hesitation, then he covered his mouth as if he couldn’t believe he’d just admitted it.

So Jaebum was right. Jinyoung gave him the reaction he wanted, basically telling Jaebum that he also desired everything impure that Jaebum wanted. And boy did that change  _ everything _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like my writing suddenly got shittier in this chapter lol. I kinda had a slightly different plan for this chapter, but things went a little bit in a different direction. Anywayy... yeah lol jaebum is making things spicyyy ;)
> 
> (I know this is JJP buut happy bday youngjae lmao)


	3. Chapter 3

“Which one?”

Jinyoung blinked a few times, his hands slowly coming down from covering his face out of embarrassment. He glanced at Jaebum, only able to keep eye contact for a second or so, before focusing his sight off somewhere else.

“W-What?” He asked, his mind still wrapping around what was going on right now.

Jaebum’s heart was nearly beating out of his chest. Jinyoung admitting that he wanted to try out some kinks from the book with him nearly made Jaebum jump up with glee. But he was too filled with another feeling to do that right now; the feeling of want that he knows Jinyoung had to be feeling as well. He could just tell in the way Jinyoung bit his bottom lip, nervously but with a tiny bit of sexy charm to it. Or by the way Jinyoung shifted his body so that he was a few centimeters closer to Jaebum. It was subtle things, but Jaebum noticed almost everything Jinyoung did, and just the younger’s body language spoke volumes.

“I asked which one? If we were to… _partake_ in any of these activities…. which one would you want to try first?” Jaebum asked.

He made sure to keep the question hypothetical, even though just moments ago he asked Jinyoung directly if the younger wanted to do these ‘activities’ with him. He didn’t want to outright act on his sinful desires yet, he wanted to first see if Jinyoung would actually respond more to his advances so that he'd know for sure that they both wanted the same thing.

Jinyoung hesitated again though, lessening Jaebum’s hopes. “Um… I don’t know…”

That was the only time that Jaebum thought that I don’t know was a fair answer, since it seemed that there were a lot of pages of kinks that Jinyoung was interested in, and it was probably difficult to pick one to start with, especially if Jinyoung was someone who knew next to nothing about them. Therefore, Jaebum decided to take a different approach.

“Okay, then which one intrigues you the most?” Jaebum asked, glancing up at Jinyoung as he flipped through the pages.

Jinyoung was quiet for another minute or so, and that means he’s either ignoring the question, or thinking about it. Jinyoung usually goes quiet when he thinks, so Jaebum assumed the better choice out of the two, and waited for the younger to respond.

“Jaebum it’s a bit… embarrassing…” Jinyoung mumbled, yet again deflecting another question.

Jaebum shook his head. “I’m not going to judge you. I’m just… curious.”

Jinyoung looked away, still not comfortable with spilling everything he’s been trying to hold from Jaebum this whole time. Jinyoung has a mind that can be hard to change sometimes, so asking him to expose something that he’s been keeping under wraps is a bit of a long shot. Jaebum knew this though, and he was trying his best to be patient and make Jinyoung feel comfortable, but there was  only so much that he can say to try and relax the younger. At some point, it all just comes down to action.

“Give me your wrists.” Jaebum ordered.

Jinyoung blinked, not sure what was happening now. “My what?”

“Your wrists.” Jaebum repeated, putting his hand out for Jinyoung to place his wrists in.

Jaebum was yet again taking another leap of faith. What he had in mind was a bit daring, especially with reserved Jinyoung who had been keeping to himself this entire time. But Jaebum still couldn’t shake off the cocktail of feelings that brewed inside of him and the sparks that flew between them. Jaebum took the first risk by asking Jinyoung directly if he’d try out kinks with him, and now he’s taking another with what he was planning to do now. He had said he didn’t want to scare Jinyoung off, but at this point, Jaebum felt that the both of them were already drowning too deep in a sea of lust mixed with other emotions he couldn't exactly point out. Being scared isn’t really an option for them anymore, if what was brewing between them was something that they both wanted.

Jinyoung must have figured that out too, since despite not knowing what Jaebum had in mind, he put his wrists together and placed them in the elder's hand anyway. His eyes darted between somewhere else off in the room and Jaebum, not knowing exactly where to look. Jaebum was glad that even with his nervousness, Jinyoung's own curiosity pushed him to jump into darkness too, and he wanted Jinyoung to not regret giving in to his inner conscience. Jaebum saw the quick flash of worry in Jinyoung eyes when he tightened his hand around the younger’s wrists, but he ignored it, and in one quick motion Jaebum swung Jinyoung's arms over his head, pushing Jinyoung back down against the couch and pinning his wrists down just above him. At this point, Jaebum was hovering over Jinyoung, the younger’s eyes wide in surprise at everything that just happened so quickly, and the sudden arrival of Jaebum’s face just inches from his own.

“J-Jaebum!” Jinyoung called out in shock, unable to do much besides squirm since his arms were pinned up above his head.

Jaebum swung his leg over Jinyoung so that his body was parallel to Jinyoung's. He held the younger’s wrists tightly in one hand, his other hand holding himself up over Jinyoung. He felt a bit like he’d done something crazy, like all of this was out of the ordinary. Well, it isn't everyday that a normal person pins their friend down against a couch after talking about kinks. That’s actually quite out of the ordinary. But it just showed that both Jaebum and Jinyoung weren't ordinary, and their relationship was definitely not just a friendship. Not anymore at least. Jaebum didn’t know exactly what they were yet, by that wasn’t what he was thinking about in that current moment.

Right then, all Jaebum could think about was how he was actually pinning Jinyoung down, exactly like how he's dreamed of it, and the younger looked even better than he’s imagined him in this situation. Jinyoung couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t affected at all by Jaebum suddenly on top of him. Even though he was squirming a bit and caught off guard, his cheeks were flushed pink and he kept tugging on his lower lip with his teeth, which drove Jaebum crazy.

“Holding your wrists like this is kinda like bondage, so now, how does it feel?” Jaebum asked, his voice soft as if he were whispering secrets.

Jinyoung drew in a breath, completely unprepared for anything that was happening. His lips were slightly parted as if he was going to say something but couldn’t get it out. He looked at Jaebum with a bit of desperation in his eye, and Jaebum couldn’t tell if he was desperate for Jaebum to do less or more. Jaebum couldn’t tell if this was too much for the younger, but he could see that Jinyoung was still trying to catch up with everything and needed a moment to get his thoughts straight.

Now that Jaebum had Jinyoung in the position that he’s been dying to have the younger in for what felt like forever, Jaebum couldn’t help but long to touch him. He glanced down at Jinyoung's body that was clothed in the messy and worn out t-shirt and shorts from the day before, but Jaebum couldn’t care less since what he was excited about was underneath them. He wanted to at least touch Jinyoung's skin for just a moment, he wanted to feel the softness of it and gaze at the pretty light tan of the younger's skin tone. Yet he held himself back, knowing that he shouldn’t go further than he’s already went until Jinyoung gave him an okay signal. He didn’t want to ruin what was already happening, but he didn’t know how much longer he could maintain his self control.

In the meantime though, Jaebum just stared down at Jinyoung expectantly, waiting for the answer to his question. “Come on, you have to be feeling _something_.” Jaebum urged.

“I am… I-It’s because you’re so… close…” Jinyoung mumbled, finally verbalizing something he was feeling.

Jaebum was pretty close, he was hovering just above Jinyoung, their bodies still so close that they could feel each other’s heat radiating off them. Jaebum wasn’t sure though, if that was Jinyoung telling him to back off or to stay right where he was. He took it as the latter, hoping that he was correct, and by the way jinyoung still didn’t fight him off, Jaebum assumed that he took a good guess.

“I need to be close, to hold your arms in place.” Jaebum stated, except that somewhat felt like a lie. He didn’t exactly have to be as close as he currently was; that was just because he likes being close to Jinyoung. But of course he wouldn’t admit that, not right now.

“J-Jaebum I…” Jinyoung trailed off, again losing his thoughts once again  as Jaebum stared down into his eyes.

“What Jinyoung?” Jaebum asked, the younger having started, but not finishing many sentences so far.

Jinyoung hesitated, his eyes searching around the room as if he’d find the confidence to say what he wanted to say sitting right on the coffee table. He then shook his head, ridding himself of whatever thought he had, before settling his eyes on Jaebum, a look of intent on his face, as if he figured out what he wanted to say.

“Jaebum I feel… I feel hot… hot and um, _uncomfortable_ in a _certain_ place…” Jinyoung said, desperation lacing his words.

Jaebum’s eyes widened, now him being the once caught off guard. He didn’t expect this sudden brutal honesty from Jinyoung, the same person who’d been making up terrible lies not long ago to hide his secret interests. Jaebum could tell that Jinyoung was doing what he did earlier, just taking a leap of faith and hoping that it goes well. Lucky for the both of them, Jaebum was also ‘feeling hot and _uncomfortable_ in a _certain_ place’, and up until now, Jaebum hadn’t known if Jinyoung really did feel the same. But now that he knows the feeling was mutual, Jaebum was starting to lose sight of the boundaries he set for himself.

That loss of boundaries shown in the way Jaebum’s hand moved from holding himself up to Jinyoung's body, his hand now resting on the younger’s hip. Jinyoung's breath hitched, his body jolting under Jaebum’s touch. He hadn’t expected it, since Jaebum did it so quickly, but his hips rolled in a certain way that made Jaebum forget how to breathe for a second.

“Jinyoung... are you saying… what I think your saying?” Jaebum asked to clarify. He wanted to make sure he heard Jinyoung correctly, because Jaebum swore he didn’t recognize the man under him anymore.

This wasn’t the shy and embarrassed Jinyoung from earlier. No, this was a Jinyoung that had fallen to the effects of Jaebum’s close proximity, the intense heat they felt from each other, the elder's darkened eyes and the iron like grip he had on the younger's wrists. This Jinyoung was one that had lust and desire coursing through him, and Jaebum could almost see the younger slowly allowing himself to be consumed by it.

“J-Jaebum I don’t know… I don’t know what I’m saying anymore… god, this is so embarrassing…” Jinyoung whined, except there was a mixture of neediness in the noise as well. While Jinyoung may feel embarrassed, there was no way he could hide the way his body reacted to Jaebum’s presence and touches.

“No, no it’s not embarrassing at all. I mean… you should not be embarrassed… should I... help you figure it all out?”Jaebum suggested.

Jaebum could literally hear his heart beating, and for some reason he was pretty sure he could hear Jinyoung's too. The tension between the two was thick, and Jaebum felt it impossible to breath. He felt Jinyoung twist his wrists a bit in his palm, probably feeling a bit uncomfortable from how long Jaebum had been holding them up above his head. Yet Jaebum’s grip didn’t loosen, and instead his other hand’s fingers dipped just slightly under Jinyoung's shirt, his fingertips now resting on the younger’s bare skin. Jinyoung took in a sharp breath, his eyes immediately looking down to where Jaebum’s hand was intruding.

“J-Jaebum, what are you doing?” Jinyoung asked in somewhat of a panic, as if he had no clue where things were going. Yet the path the two were heading on was pretty obvious, and Jinyoung made no move to stop it, even when Jaebum hesitated a minute or so to see if he would.

“Just relax…” Jaebum mumbled, too focused on how warm Jinyoung's skin felt against his fingertips.

Just the little bit of flesh Jaebum was touching drove him mad, and he was trying not to rip off Jinyoung's whole damn shirt. Jaebum had gained a ton of self control, especially with having to deal with the other members who sometimes act like they’re 5 years old. Yet certain situation, he just can’t stop himself, and this was becoming one of them. Even though Jinyoung was showing all of the signs of him wanting Jaebum to go further, Jaebum didn’t want to rush into anything in case he was wrong. He didn’t want Jinyoung to become too nervous or scared, and he gave the younger many opportunities to stop him or protest. The longer this went on though, the more needy Jinyoung looked, and the more Jaebum was about to lose it. He ended up allowing himself to slowly push his hand further under Jinyoung's shirt, his hand flattening across the hidden expanse of skin beneath the fabric. Jinyoung didn’t seem to respond negatively, so he figured it was okay to give himself a little leeway.

“Wait….” Jinyoung suddenly said, and Jaebum froze immediately. Jaebum was just thinking about how Jinyoung seemed to want this as much as he did, but then he suddenly says to wait, and Jaebum had no idea why. Maybe Jinyoung had changed his mind? Or maybe he didn’t even want to do it from the start? Maybe Jaebum was reading into all of the signs completely wrong and Jinyoung was just too flustered to tell him up until now. Jaebum didn’t want Jinyoung to feel as if it was too much, so he complied, waiting before doing anything else.

“… do you know what you’re doing?” Jinyoung asked, his cheeks glowing a deep pink as he locked eyes with Jaebum.

Jaebum internally face palmed himself. Jinyoung had stopped everything and made Jaebum worry, just to ask if he knew what he was doing. Of course he knew, or else he wouldn’t be doing it. Jaebum’s been wanting to do this for who knows how long, so obviously he's thought of it before, and he is completely aware of what was happening and where things were leading to.

“I’m a bit offended that you think I don’t.” Jaebum stated, relief washing over him as he had thought that maybe he’d done something wrong.

Jinyoung let out a breath, his stomach clenching when he felt Jaebum’s hand move slightly across it. “I-I’m just… Jaebum, is this okay? Doing... _this_ together?”

Jaebum at this point had no patience, and everything that Jinyoung was doing pushed him more towards the edge. He’d been patient, he’s waited, and he’s even given Jinyoung enough time to cease everything that was happening. Now, what Jaebum has only dreamt of was about to happen, and Jinyoung wanted to question it? Jaebum was too riled up to wait any longer, and he’s been hesitating for the longest time. It was about time to make a move, and Jaebum wanted to go for it.

“I don’t care about that right now, you’re driving me crazy and I just can’t hold back anymore…” he confessed, his hand sweeping further up over Jinyoung's soft and delicate skin.

“Jae-“ Jinyoung was in the middle of calling Jaebum’s name again, but he interrupted himself with a sharp draw of breath that stemmed from Jaebum’s finger dragging over a nipple. Jinyoung's fist clenched shut as Jaebum did it again, the younger’s gasping softly from the stimulation. Jaebum could feel Jinyoung fighting against his grasp, but Jaebum held him in place, observing how much Jinyoung responded from just the smallest flick against the nubs on his chest.

Jaebum could get off from just Jinyoung's reactions, seeing the younger’s body tense up as he slowly rolled a nipple under his thumb. Jaebum didn’t imagine Jinyoung to be so sensitive, but he loved that he was, enjoying how his touches were intensified because of it. Jinyoung's breathing was heavy as Jaebum teased his sensitive nubs, hissing at every little squeeze.

Jaebum caressed the younger’s body with his hand, dragging it slowly down his torso to the waistband of his shorts. Jaebum glanced up at Jinyoung, making sure he hadn’t changed his mind. He saw how Jinyoung just watched him with lust blown pupils, and the look Jinyoung gave told Jaebum basically everything he needed to continue. Jaebum’s hand dipped under Jinyoung's waistband, his hand slowly moving towards the surprisingly large bulge hidden in his pants. Jaebum traced the outline of Jinyoung's hard on with his fingers through his boxers, the younger letting out shaky breaths and hiccups.

“Jaebum… th-the other’s… what about the others? Th-They'll hear...” Jinyoung warned breathlessly.

Jaebum shook his head, his mind too focused on Jinyoung and his body to really care. “Don’t think about them. Think about me, okay?”

Jaebum experimentally squeezed Jinyoung's clothed member in his palm, a choked whimper coming from the younger. Jaebum was caught off guard by the sound, but he recognized it from earlier when Jinyoung had made it during their conversation, and Jaebum wanted to hear more. He gently massaged the bulge in Jinyoung's boxers, already feeling the wetness of precum soaking through the fabric. Jinyoung's hip rolled up into Jaebum’s touch, more whimpers and soft noises escaping his mouth.

“You’re really wet…” Jaebum stated, surprised at how quickly the wet area seemed to be growing.

Jinyoung gasped, only bucking his hips in response to Jaebum’s comment. Jaebum felt Jinyoung's wrist struggle against the hold he had on them as the younger writhed in pleasure, and Jaebum needed to switch hands to properly hold Jinyoung down again. This time though, Jaebum just cut straight to the chase, his hand snaking inside of Jinyoung's boxers to wrap around the younger’s hard erection. Jinyoung groaned, his body squirming in response to Jaebum’s warm hand around his throbbing member.

Jaebum took no time to start pumping Jinyoung's member in nice and even strokes up and down his length. Jinyoung choked back a moan, still being mindful of the others who were just down the hall in their rooms. Jaebum marveled at how considerate Jinyoung was, even in the most difficult of situations. Jaebum wanted to hear him moan, but Jinyoung was right, the others would surely hear. They shouldn’t risk being caught (even though doing what they were doing right on the couch was a huge risk in itself), especially Jaebum, who was the leader that was supposed to set a good example for everyone. It wouldn’t look too good to see the leader lose his self control over one of his longest friends. If that’s even what they still were at this point. Therefore Jaebum didn’t mind Jinyoung holding back his moans… just for this one time.

Jaebum acted though as if there would be another time after this one. What if this was the first _and_ last time Jaebum could see Jinyoung like this? What if Jaebum would never see Jinyoung's flushed face twisted with pleasure, whimpering and body shuddering with every little thing he did? What if Jinyoung regrets this or says it was a mistake? Or what if he’s overcome with embarrassment and shame that he just runs away and pretends none of this happened? If any of those scenarios played out, Jaebum would surely be crushed. But he’d also be crushed if he didn’t even give a good performance before Jinyoung would push him away. If this was the only time Jaebum would ever have Jinyoung like this, he wanted to at least make it a good memory for both of them.

With that in mind, Jaebum quickened the pace of his hand just a bit, squeezing his fingers around around Jinyoung's dick and pressing his thumb just against the head. That maneuver had Jinyoung suddenly trembling, his wrists twisting and shaking in Jaebum's tight hold. Jinyoung let out a half whimper and half moan, which Jaebum only found more arousing, his own member sitting hard in his pants. All he could do was gaze at Jinyoung as his hand worked in the younger’s pants, and he felt Jinyoung's hips begin to rock into his hand. Jaebum loved watching Jinyoung unfold under him, and he knew that he was doing a pretty good job when dollops of precum leaked onto jinyoung's stomach.

“Oh my _fuck_ Jaebum, _holy shit_ …” Jinyoung moaned a tiny bit too loud.

Besides how loud Jinyoung had suddenly gotten, the whole sentence in general caught Jaebum off guard. He had no idea that Jinyoung used explicit language when he's pleasured. His hand stuttered in motion and his own cock twitched, for some reason hearing Jinyoung swear like that really turned Jaebum on. Jinyoung didn’t curses that often, it was safe to say that he at least swears once a day, but that sentence just then had to be the most arousing thing Jaebum had head come out of Jinyoung's mouth thus far. The mixture of curses along with Jaebum’s name all bundled together in the neediest sounding moan could’ve taken Jaebum completely over the edge. Now all Jaebum could focus on was bringing more pleasure to Jinyoung, needing to hear more of those lewd cries escape his mouth.

Jaebum pressed his thumb with slightly more pressure against the head of Jinyoung's cock as the younger fucked into his hand, drawing out another moan. Jinyoung whined as he was brought close to his end, his hands trying to grip onto something, but they were unable to move due to Jaebum restricting them. Jinyoung's bottom lip was back in between his teeth in the way that made Jaebum think of only sinful things, and Jaebum tried to remember how to breath as he got lost in watching Jinyoung fall over the edge.

“Jaebum, J-Jaebum, _fuck_ , oh my _god,_ Jaebum!” Jinyoung nearly chanted Jaebum's name, the overwhelming sensations crashing over him like waves.

Jinyoung's back arched in a way that showed off his beautiful figure, his whole body shaking and shuddering as he came into Jaebum’s hand. White liquid splattered onto Jinyoung's stomach, some getting onto his already dirty and worn out T-shirt. He took in small quick gasps as his hips bucked uncontrollably into Jaebum’s hand, the elder still pumping Jinyoung's member to milk him of all of his substance.

It had to be the most beautiful thing Jaebum had seen. The way Jinyoung's mouth parted in a silent moan, his body convulsing as pleasure coursed through it, and the fluid rolls of his hips into Jaebum’s palm to ride out his high; it was all too much for Jaebum to take in. Jinyoung was absolutely beautiful in any way, shape, and form, and Jaebum could only marvel at how the younger looked amazing even when doing the lewdest of things.

“Jinyoung you’re stunning…”  Jaebum mumbled, mostly to himself, but he felt that the younger needed to hear it too.

Jinyoung whimpered as the last of his cum came out with the complement, his body ceasing to shake and his heavy breathing slowing. Jaebum released Jinyoung's spent member, carefully pulling his hand out of Jinyoung's pants and looking at the sticky mess of it. He watched his hand glisten in the light, the only thought going through his mind was how all of that white substance belonged to Jinyoung, and how he even loved that part of the younger too. It was probably a weird though to have, but Jaebum couldn’t help it, he adored everything that was Jinyoung.

“What the fuck…” Jinyoung panted in what seemed like disbelief, his face looking blissed out in his after orgasm state.

“Seriously, you’re beautiful.” Jaebum said, making sure that Jinyoung knows how awed he left the elder.

“S-Stop it… can you let go of me?” Jinyoung asked with an intense blush, him not being one to take compliments well. Jaebum then realized that he was still holding onto the younger’s wrists. He quickly let go and moved back, giving Jinyoung room to sit up. Jinyoung rubbed his wrists, inspecting the reddened skin where Jaebum had been tightly holding them.

“Um, so…” Jaebum trailed off, his eyes also on the red patch of skin on Jinyoung's wrists. He hoped he didn’t hurt the younger, since he was just trying to give Jinyoung an experience of how bondage would feel like. He only used his hand since he had no material to tie Jinyoung up with, and he prayed that those marks don’t bruise.

“So…” Jinyoung mimicked, the mood starting to become a bit awkward between them.

“Did you like it?” Jaebum asked, skipping the awkward phase and just cutting straight to what he wanted to know.

Jaebum tried his best to pleasure Jinyoung as much as possible without going too far, so of course he wanted to know if he did a good job. He didn’t want to leave the younger with a bad taste in his mouth about the whole thing. Jinyoung though, gave him a confused look, as if he had no idea what Jaebum was talking about.

“You know, not being able to move your arms or anything while I… um… pleasured you? Did you find a new kink?” Jaebum clarified.

Jinyoung eyes widened at the directness of Jaebum’s question, the embarrassment from earlier all coming back to him. “Oh, I-I guess so…”

Jaebum didn’t like that answer. How could Jinyoung just say ‘I guess so’? It was a yes or no question,and Jaebum wanted to know for future reference. If there was even a future between them in the first place. That part was still a bit blurry, but Jaebum tried not to think of the possibility that this was the only time they’d be together in this way. Of course he wanted more with Jinyoung, but was that feeling as mutual as the lustful feelings they had just before their whole rendezvous?

You can’t say ‘I guess’, it's either ‘Yeah it's your thing’ or ‘No, you’re not into it’. I mean, you looked pretty into it to me, but you’re the final judge of that.” Jaebum states, just taking his mind off of the status of their relationship for now and focusing on the conversation.

Jinyoung blushed, again looking adorable in Jaebum’s eyes when he’s embarrassed. “O-Okay… okay, I…. liked it… a lot…” Jinyoung confessed.

Jaebum felt a bit relieved, but he wanted to make sure that when Jinyoung says he liked it, he doesn’t just mean the ‘not being able to move’ part.“Even the handjob?”

“Jaebum!” Jinyoung's face had a horrified look on it, as if he was shocked that Jaebum just outright said it.

“I’m just making sure you liked _all_ of it.” Jaebum was the type to worry about his performances, and this was no different. In fact, it was a lot more nerve wracking getting an opinion from Jinyoung, since it can be hard to please the younger at times. But usually, they're not talking about sexual activities when asking for Jinyoung's opinion, so this was a totally different ballpark.

Jinyoung hesitated before answering, the embarrassment showing all over his face. Jaebum loved Jinyoung so much that he hated it. Why was he so cute? No one asked Jinyoung to be that way, especially not Jaebum. Yet just seeing the light pink blush on his cheeks made Jaebum’s heart skip multiple beats. Maybe he was having a heart attack?

“I… I did… I liked every part of it…” Jinyoung admitted.

Yup. It was a heart attack. Jaebum wanted to die a happy man, and Jinyoung was gonna kill him. He felt relieved that Jinyoung liked it, and it only made Jaebum crave to do more. But of course he couldn’t indulge in that craving, not until he knows he’s allowed to. “That’s good to hear.”

Jinyoung looked away as if trying to hide the smile that had crept up on his face. His eyes then suddenly lit up like he had just remembered something. "Wait... are you...  um... are you also... y'know... in your pants?..." he asked a bit awkwardly.

Jaebum needed to think for a minute about what Jinyoung was trying to ask him, it suddenly clicking when Jinyoung pointed down to Jaebums crotch. "Oh! Oh, no... I'm okay... I'll uh, take care of it later..."

Jinyoung nodded shyly, again becoming a bit awkward, before turning his gaze back to Jaebum. “Um, Jaebum?”

“Hmm?” Jaebum hummed, his mind still occupied with the happy thought of successfully satisfying Jinyoung.

“Is this… you know… what we just did… is it gonna ever happen again?” The younger asked, his fingers finding the hem of his T-shirt and tugging at it.

Jaebum was surprised that Jinyoung asked the question, yet he was also glad to hear that Jinyoung possibly had the same worry he had earlier. Maybe Jinyoung didn’t want this to be the last time they are together intimately. Maybe he wanted to do more too. Jaebum would be thrilled if that was the case, but he didn’t want to seem too excited, since he wasn’t exactly sure whether Jinyoung wanted it to happen again or not.

“Only if you want it to…” he said vaguely, leaving the decision up to Jinyoung.

“Uh… well… there are still a few more kinks that I’m a bit… interested in…” Jinyoung looked away, unable to completely look Jaebum in the eye as he confessed to his curiosity with different kinks.

“Oh, So _now_ you admit you’re into kinks?” Jaebum asked, his eyes narrowing at the same person who refused to admit to the fact earlier.

“Y-You have to understand, I was embarrassed! I still am, just a bit…” Jinyoung stated.

Jaebum could understand Jinyoung still being a bit embarrassed, but after everything that had just happened, was there any point to be embarrassed anymore? Jaebum had seen a completely different side of Jinyoung that he'd never expected to see, and that Jinyoung probably hadn’t planned on him seeing either. There was nothing left for Jinyoung to be embarrassed about, especially since Jaebum literally loved everything about Jinyoung, even this hidden dirtier side of the younger.

“Don’t be, it’s normal.” Jaebum assured, wanting Jinyoung to become more comfortable and confident with the whole subject.

Jinyoung shrugged awkwardly, his fingers now playing with the fabric of his shorts as he spoke. “I’m just… curious of them… like, what it feels like and stuff…”

Jaebum liked the sound of what Jinyoung was saying, and he hoped that he was receiving the younger's message correctly. He's been careful not to jump to any conclusions this whole time, but Jaebum was already too drawn into Jinyoung to really think completely straight. “So, are you suggesting we… try some more out?” Jaebum asked to clarify.

“N-No! I mean, yes? Wait, no… no… well, unless…. unless you don’t mind trying more out…” Jinyoung stuttered, trying to figure out how to say what he really was trying to say. Jaebum smiled a bit, finding the flustered version of Jinyoung really cute, and he wanted to squeeze his cheeks for some reason. It was an odd urge to have at that current time, but Jinyoung was too cute, and Jaebum could barely keep himself off of the younger. Especially not after what happened today.

“I don’t mind at all, Jinyoung we can do whatever you want.” Jaebum said sincerely. Part of him just wanted to see what Jinyoung would have in mind to try out next, but another part of him just wanted to touch Jinyoung again, to see his body flush, and to hear him moan.

“Oh… okay… well, if you're fine with it then… I guess…” Jinyoung trailed off, his eyes still looking down to the floor. A faint smile was on his face, and Jaebum knew that he was masking his happiness, and failing badly at it.

“I guess... it’s a date then?” Jaebum finished Jinyoung's sentence with his own question, wondering if they were seriously planning on doing this again.

Jinyoung gave Jaebum a puzzled look, not exactly understanding what he meant. “Huh?”

“Tomorrow, we’re off of work again. If you want to, we can…” Jaebum suggested, just to test the waters and see if Jinyoung was really interested in doing it again like he seemed to be.

“Yes please! I-I mean sure… yeah, that sounds good…” Jinyoung stated, looking embarrassed after acting a bit too happy and excited. “Just to try it though, right? Nothing else?”

Jaebum's heart was beating out of his chest and he was extremely happy, until Jinyoung had asked that question. Then suddenly everything just stopped. What did Jinyoung mean by “nothing else”? Did jinyoung just want to do this with Jaebum to experiment? Or did he just want to do it for pleasure? Either way, it kinda hurt to hear that Jinyoung wanted ‘nothing else’, especially since all jaebum wanted was more. Having Jinyoung in a sexual way was one thing, and it was great, but Jaebum has wanted Jinyoung to himself as more than just a pleasure partner. He wanted Jinyoung to be by his side as a lover, not just a friend with benefits.

Yet, Jaebum wasn't the type to argue, or make a scene, or unecessarly confess his feelings out of nowhere. What Jinyoung was suggesting to him wasn't exactly what he had in mind for their relationship, but at the same time, he didn't want to mess up what they already seemed to have. So, he just agreed. “Um… yeah… just to try it…”

Jinyoung smiled happily, and Jaebum hated how pretty his smile was, especially right after he had basically just told Jaebum that they wouldn't be anything more than fuck buddies. In any circumstance though, Jaebum could get lost in staring at those pearly white teeth that Jinyoung always covered with his hand, which annoyed the hell out of him.

“Okay… well, I’m gonna go clean myself up….” Jinyoung stated, standing up from the couch.

“Um, yeah, me too. I need to wash my hands.” Jaebum stated, referring to the hand that Jinyoung had dirtied.

“oh, I-I'm sorry about that …” Jinyoung apologized unnecessarily, which was something else that Jaebum loved and hated about Jinyoung. He'd always apologize at simple things that cause no one harm, yet he still feels like it's his fault.

“Don't be sorry. It just mean that… I made you feel really good.” Jaebum stated somewhat proudly.

“O-Oh, yeah…” Jinyoung said with a shy chuckle before heading towards the bathroom. He gave a quick look back at Jaebum, a little smirk on his face as he headed out to clean himself off, and Jaebum nearly melted from it. He really didn't understand how Jinyoung could go from a cute little awkward ball of fluff to a nonchalant guy who's pretending he wasn't stuttering and blushing just a few minutes ago.

Besides that though, the thing that was mostly on Jaebum's mind was tomorrow, and the future beyond tomorrow. If him and Jinyoung are doing… less than appropriate things with each other, then what are they relationship wise? Are they just friends with benefits? Jaebum did really enjoy having a sexual relationship with Jinyoung, it was better than no relationship at all besides friends. Yet Jaebum has always wanted more, not just a quick session in bed when both of them are stressed or horny. He had hoped that Jinyoung wanted more as well, but he really wasn't sure anymore, and that only made him worry for what their future together might entail.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes!!!

The next day seemed to come at a snail's pace. Jaebum was looking forward to whatever him and Jinyoung were going to do, since he just wanted the younger under him once again. Jinyoung seemed to be anticipating it too, since later that day after they had made the plans, he was being quite the tease. Jaebum didn’t know how Jinyoung could go from shy and nervous to enticing that fast, but he loved and hated it at the same time.

He loved the little smirks and stares Jinyoung would give him across the table, and the way he’d bite his bottom lip that at this point evidentially drove Jaebum crazy. Yet he hated it all at the same time. He hated how drawn he was to the younger, and how he couldn’t take his off of Jinyoung just as much as Jinyoung couldn’t stop staring back. He absolutely hated the way Jinyoung would walk into the same room as Jaebum and pretend to have an “itch” somewhere on his stomach, just to have an excuse to lift up his shirt and expose the soft skin that Jaebum longed to touch again. Jaebum really hated the hungry look in Jinyoung's eye, and there were many times that afternoon and evening that Jaebum wanted to take Jinyoung down right where he stood. 

Yet he held himself back. Even with the way Jinyoung was teasing him so, he kept himself together. He hadn’t imagined Jinyoung to be so annoying in the best way possible, so he was a bit surprised by all the things the younger did. He expected him to be more awkward, and Jaebum would have to break him out of his shell again, but this openly attracted attitude only made Jaebum want Jinyoung more. Even with all the telling signs Jinyoung was giving him, Jaebum didn’t want jump at the younger until he was completely sure. They agreed to do it the next day, and Jaebum wanted to honor that agreement, but it was extremely hard to do with Jinyoung acting so differently than he had earlier. Jinyoung even had the audacity to moan quite loudly when he was stretching his body, with jaebum standing right nearby since he was passing the younger in the hallway. 

Jaebum could tell that this change in behavior was most likely due to Jinyoung's mischievous personality. Jinyoung just loved to bother people, especially the other members, so why would Jaebum be an exception? Especially with this new thing going on between them, Jinyoung had more material to use against Jaebum, and he knows how effective it is. It’s hard for Jaebum to hide how Jinyoung makes him feel, especially when he sees the younger nearly everywhere he goes. There seemed to be no place that Jaebum could go where Jinyoung wasn’t present, which only prolonged the teasing.

The next day did eventually come though, and Jaebum was on edge. He could also tell that Jinyoung was a bit nervous too, judging by the not so flirty glances the younger gave him over the table during breakfast, and the everlasting blush on his cheeks. Jinyoung was still being a bit of a tease, but much less than the day before. He’s the ‘all talk, no action’ type, so Jaebum knew it was all an act, and that the shy fluff ball he was used to was the real Jinyoung. Neither of them really set a time as to when they were supposed to get together, but they knew that it would happen eventually, which was the most nerve wracking part.

Even after breakfast was done, and both had taken their morning showers, neither of them had the guts to take initiative and say ‘let’s do it’. They’d shoot glances and smirks at each other when they’d pass in the hallway, stare at each other when in the same room, and Jaebum even went the extra step to rest his hand on Jinyoung's thigh when they were watching a movie with the other members in the living room. Yet nothing significant came from any of that, and they just went on with their day as usual. 

It was safe to assume that they both were scared. Not of each other really, but of the whole situation in general. They could flirt and play around all they want, but when it came down to actually  _ doing _ anything, they were both hesitant. They were risking a lot, between the other members, their work relationship, and even their own friendship, a lot could go wrong and ruin everything between them. So of course they’d be a bit nervous to proceed with their plans. Besides that though, it was also just those nervous jitters you get when you approach your crush that held them back. Jaebum thought it was weird that he had butterflies in his stomach around Jinyoung, but he couldn’t help feeling like he needed to tread carefully around the younger. He was much less hesitant than Jinyoung though. He knew that he’d probably have to be the one to make the first move, but he didn’t know when or where it would be a good time to do so. Jaebum knew that they couldn’t do it on the couch again, even though it was exhilarating being in such an open area, it was just way too risky; they could be seen at anytime. So the only other obvious choice was the bedroom. 

Jaebum had wanted Jinyoung in his bedroom for so long, and he could only imagine the younger pressed into the mattress with that oh so attractive look of pleasure on his face. It’s not that Jinyoung hasn’t been in Jaebum’s room before, it was just that he’s never been in the elder's bed with Jaebum before. Well, except for those few times they ‘accidentally’ slept together. Jinyoung would stay in his room into the late hours of the night, just talking about random things, and many times he drifted off in Jaebum’s bed. Those were some of Jaebum’s best nights of sleep, curling up next to Jinyoung and pretending that he was asleep when he’d tug the younger closer to his own body, when really he was wide awake and just wanted to hold Jinyoung in his arms. 

Besides that though, Jinyoung had never been in Jaebum’s room for any reason other than to ask him for something or to just hang out, and especially not for a sexual reason. This was Jaebum’s chance though, to make his wet dreams come true. He knew he had to be the one to kick things off, he just needed the right time. While waiting for that time, he also wondered if their relationship would ever evolve. It seemed like Jinyoung just wanted to keep things simple between them, and he just wanted to explore his kinks with someone he trusted. Jaebum knew Jinyoung had to have some sort of feelings towards him to do such intimate things with him, but exactly how much does Jinyoung like him? Was it just Jaebum’s physical aspects that Jinyoung liked? Did he like Jaebum as a friend and a sexual partner, but that’s it? Is there possibly more that Jinyoung felt? Jaebum knew how much he liked Jinyoung, which was a lot, but he had no idea how much Jinyoung liked him back, which was another thing that put Jaebum’s nerves on edge.

Either way, Jaebum had to put those thoughts to the back of his mind, since he really wanted to focus on what he and Jinyoung agreed to today. He needed an opportunity to discreetly scoop Jinyoung away, and carry on with the intimate endeavors both of them anticipated. Jaebum saw that opportunity he was looking for later on that day when Jinyoung was washing his face in the bathroom, just having worked up a lather of soap on it. Jaebum was walking by heading to his room, and at first he had thought it was Youngjae, but Jaebum could recognize that bottom of Jinyoung's anywhere, especially when it was bent over and poking out a bit in such a way that perfectly displayed it to whoever happened to be looking. Jaebum was not ashamed to admit that his eyes ended up settling on those two round cheeks.

He stopped in front of the bathroom door, deciding to surprise Jinyoung with his presence once the younger lifted his face from the sink. He watched Jinyoung wash the soap off of his flawless cheeks and then stand up straight, blindly searching for the towel nearby since he hadn’t opened his eyes to avoid water or excess soap getting into them. Jaebum had to keep himself from laughing since he found Jinyoung trying to grab the towel that was just out of reach with his eyes closed adorable, and he wanted to help him, but that would ruin the surprise. Jinyoung eventually found the towel, bringing it up to dry his face. As soon as he dried the area around his eyes, his eyelids fluttered opened, first looking at himself in the mirror before shifting his view off to the side where Jaebum was standing. Jinyoung's eyes widened and he jolted in surprise, backing away from the door a few steps as his eyes settled on Jaebum.

“Jaebum don’t fucking do that!” Jinyoung exclaimed in the midst of his surprise, his hand coming up to hold his chest.

Jaebum nearly keeled over with laughter; he loved how startled Jinyoung looked, and Jaebum was admittedly a bit mischievous too, so of course he enjoyed the reaction. He also made Jinyoung curse, which would usually mark off his usual one curse a day, but Jaebum couldn’t guarantee that in just a little while, Jinyoung won’t be cursing again, but for a  _ different _ reason.

“You’re cute when scared.” Jaebum admitted, his mouth relaying the first thoughts that came to his head.

“You’re weird…” Jinyoung said after taking a few deep breaths to calm himself.

Jaebum took a few steps forward into the bathroom, and suddenly all of Jinyoung's attention immediately focused on Jaebum. He obviously noticed the elder getting closer, and probably already knew what Jaebum was planning, but he didn’t react to it, and just stood there as if he couldn’t tell. Jaebum looked down at where Jinyoung had his hand still pressed against his chest, his mind immediately thinking about the skin he wanted to see under it.

“Did I scare you that bad?” Jaebum asked, again taking another step towards Jinyoung.

Jinyoung backed up, but the bathroom being only so big, his back was nearing the wall, and one more step back would leave him trapped. “I just… didn’t expect you to be standing there…”

Jaebum already felt the tension building between them, and if they were still planning on finding out more of Jinyoung's kinks, then he needed to take advantage of the moment. Jinyoung was caught off guard and flustered, and Jaebum knew he could easily take control of the situation and steer it in his favorable direction.

“Is your heart still racing?” Jaebum asked

Jinyoung looked down at his chest, as if he could see his heart beating through it. He was quiet for just a short moment, probably testing his heart rate so that he could answer the question. “U-Um, well... it’s-“

“Let me feel it.” Jaebum suddenly said while taking another step forward, cornering Jinyoung against the wall. He brought his hand up to slide into Jinyoung's shirt, placing his palm flat against the younger’s chest where his heart was. Jinyoung took in a sharp breath, probably not expecting Jaebum’s hand on his bare skin. Jaebum felt jinyoung's heart pounding in his chest, but Jaebum couldn’t tell if it was from being scared, or nerves, or anticipation or… what? He just felt the muscle pumping, and he thought that all of the blood it was running through Jinyoung body was going to the younger’s face, since it had turned remarkably red since Jaebum walked in. Jaebum then realized that Jinyoung has literally almost completely stopped breathing, and was taking the most shallow of breaths, since he was too tense to breath normally. Jaebum felt a bit happy that he was able to have that effect on Jinyoung. It meant that the younger at least felt something for him. Even if it wasn’t much, the feelings were still there.

“It’s beating really fast. You can’t still be reacting from me scaring you, can you?” Jaebum asked, his hand pressing lightly against the left side of Jinyoung's chest.

“I-I guess not…”Jinyoung spit out, sounding as if he didn't know himself why his heart was racing.

“So then, your heart is pumping this fast because of a  _ different _ reason then?” Jaebum stated more than asked.

“I… um… m-maybe it is…” Jinyoung looked away, unable to keep eye contact with Jaebum.

“And what is that reason?” Jaebum leaned closer, close enough to feel Jinyoung's body heat radiating against his skin. Jinyoung shrugged in response to the question, his eyes glued to the floor, yet his heart beating nearly out of his chest.

“Don't play dumb with me.” Jaebum warned, his voice now at a low rumble.

Jinyoung's eyes fluttered up quickly before looking back down. “It's just… I'm a bit…”

“Anticipative?” Jaebum finished Jinyoung's sentence off, assuming that he was correct based on the how deep Jinyoung's breaths were, and how he reacted to Jaebum touching his chest. 

Jinyoung nodded faintly, his eyes still looking anywhere else but Jaebum. No matter how playfully flirty and mischievous Jinyoung nay be, in the end he's always a bit shy, which was one of his cutest sides.

“Well, when do you expect what we planned yesterday to happen?” Jaebum asked, seeing that neither of them made any type of move towards each other all day beside teasing glances and actions. 

“W-Whenever you want it to…” Jinyoung mumbled.

“I’ve been wanting to all day, but you were too busy teasing me.” Jaebum stated, tilting his head a bit to the side as he eyed the younger.

“I was just… y'know… playing around…. You did it a little too…” Jinyoung nervously explained himself, biting his bottom lip at the end of his sentence, and of course that made Jaebum want to press Jinyoung against the wall and have his way with the younger. He needed to hold himself back though, still wanting to keep the little boundaries the two have left between them.

“Yeah, after you did it first.” Jaebum retorted in response to Jinyoung's accusation. 

Jinyoung quickly glanced up at Jaebum, his eyes already showing a look of desire that Jaebum cold barely refuse. “S-So… um… are we… gonna…. Y'know…?“ Jinyoung awkwardly tried to ask.

Jaebum tried not to show his adoration for Jinyoung in that moment, since he could see the desire in the youngers body language. The way he leaned a bit forward into jaebum, his breathing still shallow and cheeks glowing pink, all of it telling Jaebum what jinyoung was anticipating for. “You have 5 minutes to finish up and come to my room. If 5 minutes passes and you aren’t there, then I guess you’ll have to wait until tomorrow.”

Jaebum didn't exactly know why he suddenly became so commanding, but the way Jinyoung drew in a breath at his firm tone told Jaebum that he should keep going. Jaebum thought that what he had said sounded almost like a threat, and by Jinyoung's reaction, he wondered if maybe the younger also had a kink for being ‘punished’ or ‘threatened’. Or maybe Jinyoung really liked when Jaebum just took control, which was something easy for him to do, given that's pretty much his job everyday.

“I don’t want to wait...I want you now…” Jinyoung admitted, making Jaebum's heart stop for half a second.

Jinyoung's response basically told Jaebum that everything he was doing so far was right, and that Jinyoung was ready to take it to the next step. But Jaebum didn't want to let the younger have it that easy, especially with all the annoying teasing he had done all day. In addition to that though, Jinyoung also made Jaebum think about having the younger to himself in more than just a sexual way. He couldn't stop his mind from drifting off into thoughts of being with Jinyoung in a serious relationship. He wanted more than just the the youngers body, but maybe this was the start. Maybe Jinyoung also wanted Jaebum in the same way, and they just happened to be drawn to each other more physically first before emotionally. He didn't want to get his hopes too high up, yet Jinyoung saying that “he wanted Jaebum now" was making it a bit hard.

“Jinyoung don’t…. never mind, if you want me,then come get me. My room in 5 minutes, got it?” Jaebum restated the order he made earlier, not changing the firm tone of his voice or the threatening look in his eyes.

Jinyoung swallowed hard and nodded, desire literally seeming to drip off of him. Jaebum could tell that Jinyoung did in fact want him then and there, but it was more fun to leave the younger waiting just to see how he reacts. Therefore, Jaebum left the bathroom and headed back to his room, allowing Jinyoung to finish up. He had told Jinyoung that he had five minutes to come to his room, but Jaebum already knew that he'd still be all over Jinyoung even if the younger had arrived 20 minutes later. Jaebum didn't have to worry about that though, since in just two minutes, Jinyoung was already walking into the room. Jaebum was a bit surprised at his swiftness since he usually takes a while in the bathroom, but Jinyoung seemed desperate, and desperateness can make you do a lot of things you don't usually do.

Jaebum watched Jinyoung walk in and gently close the door behind him. He then just stood by the door, his eyes glued to the floor as he waited quietly there for Jaebum to say or do something.

“Don’t act like you’ve never been in here before, get comfortable.” Jaebum said, noticing how awkward Jinyoung seemed.

Jinyoung glanced up at Jaebum, hesitating for a second before awkwardly waddling to Jaebum's bed. He sat a bit far away from Jaebum, putting as much distance between them as he could. Jaebum furrowed his brows, wondering why Jinyoung was being so strange. Jaebum knew that Jinyoung was probably a bit on edge, because he was too, but he at least thought that the younger would have the courage to sit closer to him.

“I can’t touch you if you’re that far away.” Jaebum stated, taking the initiative to scoot a bit closer to Jinyoung. He saw Jinyoung body tense a bit, the youngers eyes still not meeting with his. Usually, other people in this situation would probably be annoyed by Jinyoung's shyness and reserved personality, especially when they were trying to get ‘in the mood’. Yet Jaebum just loved it, it had to be the cutest thing about Jinyoung. It was even better though, when Jinyoung loses that shyness and suddenly gains a lust driven confidence and carelessness that drives Jaebum mad.

“J-Jaebum I’m nervous…” Jinyoung stuttered, currently contrasting that lust driven attitude he seemed to have just a few minutes ago.

“Why?” Jaebum asked, half surprised to hear that, and half not so much. He was a bit nervous too, and he wanted things to go perfectly between them But Jaebum knew that perfect could not always be achieved, so he just prayed that things would go well tonight, and that maybe something more would be ignited.

“I don’t know… this all feels so fake and planned, are we really… doing this?” this Jinyoung asked in disbelief.

Jaebum was a bit caught off guard. He didn't expect Jinyoung to think it all felt “fake" and “planned”. Well, it was planned, but Jaebum did not intended it to be fake. Not at all. His feelings for Jinyoung were very real, his lust and sexual attraction towards Jinyoung was also very real, and the way his heart was currently pounding hard against his chest was incredibly real. None of it felt  _ fake _ to jaebum, it just felt more… dreamlike. “If you want to do it, then I don’t mind.” Jaebum responded.

“It just feels… unreal… like I can believe that we’re… doing this together…”  Jinyoung stated, looking up at Jaebum for the first time since he's walked in.

Jaebum liked that sentence better, since it was more of what he was feeling. It felt almost magical to be here with Jinyoung about to do something that they both definitely want to do. Jaebum could maybe see why Jinyoung would call the situation “fake", but Jaebum liked to call it more unimaginable, like this was something that they both could only dream of, and even then it didn't amount to how it really felt being there with each other, feelings of want and desire wafting through the air.

“Well… then maybe we should make it feel more real, so that you can believe it.” Jaebum suggested, taking the leap that would definitely heat things up.

Jaebum moved over closer to Jinyoung, his hand moving behind the youngers body that was frozen on the bed. “J-Jaebum…” Jinyoung stuttered out when the elder moved closer. 

“Which one today, hmm?” Jaebum asked, his voice turning into that lower pitched voice that had Jinyoung visibly melting.

“I… I don’t know… whatever you want…” Jinyoung stated, his eyes unable to keep contact with Jaebum's and moving back to the floor.

“No, this is for you, it’s whatever you want. You want to try out kinks right? Then tell me what you want me to do.” Jaebum urged, not wanting to be the one to make the decisions. Jaebum wanted Jinyoung to tell him exactly what he wanted so that he could be prepared and know what he should focus on. He wanted every intimate moment they had together to be special and memorable, even if these moments would eventually come to an end sooner or later.

“I… I can’t… it’s embarrassing.” Jinyoung said, his face turning a slight pink as he brought his hands up to his cheeks.

Jaebum reached over and pulled Jinyoung's hands down from his face, the younger again looking up into Jaebum's eyes in shock for a brief moment. “So you know what you want, but you just can’t tell me?” Jaebum asked to clarify

Jinyoung nodded, his gaze going from one thing to another thing to another, not exactly knowing where to look. Jaebum of course noticed this, and he was tired of Jinyoung looking away from him. He gently pushed the younger back, caging Jinyoung in between his arms as he swung his body over him so that the only thing jinyoung could see was him. Jinyoung's eyes widened, and he gulped audibly, anticipating running through him. 

“Then maybe if we start things slow you'll get the courage to tell me.” Jaebum whispered once he had successfully trapped Jinyoung under him.

Jinyoung took in a sharp breath, forgetting to let it out since right after Jaebum was gently pressing his lips to the youngers neck. Jinyoung wasn't ready for the feeling of Jaebum's mouth against his neck, and he only had seconds to prepare for Jaebum's tongue to lightly lick at the skin. Jinyoung shuddered, already feeling the effects Jaebum had on him. Just the way Jaebum slowly left kisses down Jinyoung's neck and collarbone area turned Jinyoung on, and he even tilted his head back to allow the elder more access to his bare skin.

One of Jaebum's hands was already working its way under Jinyoung's shirt, slowly climbing up to run its fingers lightly over his stomach. Jinyoung felt hot, like his body had heated up by a few degrees. Jaebum liked the warm feeling of Jinyoung under him, appreciating the soft and sensitive skin that he had been missing since the last time he had touched it the day before. His hand crept up to Jinyoung's chest, his fingers gently toying with the pink nub on the youngers peck. 

Of course that gave a much favored reaction, with Jinyoung gasping and shuddering in response to Jaebum's touches. Jaebum carefully lifted Jinyoung's shirt to expose more of him, marveling at the pink skin that shivered once revealed. Jinyoung covered his face with his hand and he looked away, embarrassment seeming to take over him. Jaebum ignored the look though, and instead bent down to leave open mouth kisses down jinyoung's stomach.

“Fuck Jaebum…” Jinyoung groaned, his head still turned away from Jaebum's direction.

Jaebum was a bit caught off guard; he didn't understand what Jinyoung was so aroused by when they had barely done anything. Yet that just boosted Jaebum's confidence and ego, telling him tha Jinyoung would react from even just the lightest of touches. “Already cursing and we barely did anything?”

“I-Im sorry… it’s just… I want you so bad…” Jinyoung confessed, and Jaebum was sure that the younger's face was glowing a red hue.

Jaebum really wished that Jinyoung would stop saying that though, because the more Jinyoung wanted him, the less Jaebum could hold himself back. If Jinyoung just wanted this to be something they were trying out with no serious feelings, then why did he keep repeating that? He could mean it in just a sexual way, but Jaebum couldn't help but think that maybe Jinyoung wanted him a lot more than just that. His brain keeps revisiting these thoughts of hope and doubt, even when he had Jinyoung right where he wanted him, the younger showing all the signs of being attracted to Jaebum. Then again, it could just be for his body. Jaebum didn't know what they were doing or why he was so confused about where he currently stood with Jinyoung, but it was all too hard to focus on when Jinyoung was just inches below him, hard and horny.

Jaebum’s fingers went for Jinyoung's pants, but he paused just before pulling them down, looking up to Jinyoung's face. Jinyoung was ready to be stripped of his clothes, but he looked down at Jaebum who was hesitating, his brows furrowing just slightly in confusion as to why Jaebum stopped. He gave Jaebum a questioning look, meeting the elders eyes with his own.

“What do you want me to do?” Jaebum asked again, hoping that Jinyoung found the courage to just say it.

Jinyoung shook his head carelessly. “Anything, I don’t care, I just want you.”

Jaebum felt his own erection straining in his pants, and it didn’t didn’t lessen at all with Jinyoung constantly saying that he wanted him. Jaebum felt good when he heard those words come from Jinyoung's mouth, yet he also didn’t like hearing them either, not when he was so unsure of whether Jinyoung really meant it, or if he just said it out of lust. 

”Quit saying that.” that Jaebum urged, not wanting to hear it if Jinyoung really didn't mean it seriously.

“But Jaebum I do want you…” Jinyoung gasped as Jaebum quickly tugged off his paints with his boxers along with them, tossing them off to the side. he suddenly felt exposed, since he’d never been splayed out bare naked in front of Jaebum like that before. He closed his legs shut, his face turning a deep pink as his embarrassment showed through his expression.

“I don’t think you understand…” Jaebum stated, feeling not mood to explain himself anymore. All he could focus on was the way Jinyoung's erection sprung out of his pants and rested beautifully upon his stomach. He pulled Jinyoung's legs apart, the younger making a noise of protest, but Jaebum ignored it, his eyes taking in all the parts of Jinyoung that aren’t usually out on display. Jaebum licked his lips as he stared down at Jinyoung's body, his hand slowly inching to wrap around his hard member.

“J-Jaebum wha- “ Jinyoung finished his sentence with a groan as Jaebum pumped the younger’s member a few times. Jinyoung was already rolling his hips up into the touch, his heavy breathing resonating through the room.

“I can do anything?” Jaebum asked again to clarify as he gazed at Jinyoung's already leaking erection. Just at the small tugs he gave it poured out precum, showing just how aroused and sensitive Jinyoung was.

Jinyoung nodded vigorously, hissing when Jaebum applied gentle pressure to the tip of his cock with his thumb. Jaebum already knew what he wanted to do, but he just needed Jinyoung's permission. Now that he had it, he didn’t hold himself back anymore from leaning down and kitten licking the tip of Jinyoung's member. Jinyoung's eyes widened as he choked on a whimper, obviously caught off guard. He looked down at Jaebum in disbelief.

“What? You didn’t expect me to want to taste you?” Jaebum asked.

Jinyoung's hips bucked forward, just hearing Jaebum say that having an effect on him. “I… I just…” Jinyoung tried to find the words to explain himself, failing to do so.

“Shh, just enjoy it.” Jaebum stated just before dragging his tongue up slowly from the base of Jinyoung's length to the tip.

Jinyoung's breath hitched, his fingers digging into the sheets under him as Jaebum’s warm tongue did wonders on his member. Jaebum was holding Jinyoung's thighs apart tightly under his arms as he wrapped his lips over the head, his tongue swirling around the sensitive part. Jinyoung was already very responsive, his hips rolling up as Jaebum went to town on his dick. His legs were shuddering and fighting against Jaebum's strong hold, yet he was unable to escape the pleasure, and could only writhe against the mattress where he laid.

Jaebum took Jinyoung deeper into his mouth, nearly swallowing his length whole. Jaebum's tongue pressed flat against the side of Jinyoung cock as he took the younger in almost to his throat, sending shockwaves through the younger. Jinyoung gasped, his hands finding their way to Jaebum’s head so his fingers could tangle into his messy mop of hair. He moaned softly, the warm and wet feeling of Jaebum’s mouth becoming overwhelming. He could barely stand the sight of Jaebum’s lips wrapped tightly around his dick, and the sounds that emitted from the elder's work only made Jinyoung want more.

“Holy shit Jaebum~” Jinyoung moaned out, his hips bucking into the warmth of Jaebum’s mouth.

Jaebum loved the cries he heard from Jinyoung, and they only fueled his desire to please the younger. He bobbed his head up and down on Jinyoung's length, sucking harder and increasing in speed. Jaebum could taste the salty precum that was pouring out of Jinyoung's member, telling him that Jinyoung was definitely enjoying it. Jinyoung's legs started to tremble a bit, and he could barely hold in his moans and whimpers. The noises soon stopped though, since Jaebum pulled off of Jinyoung's cock with a lewd pop that echoed through the room. Jinyoung's dick visibly twitched from the sounds, and Jaebum just wanted to devour it again, but he had different plans instead.

“Can you open yourself wider for me?” Jaebum asked Jinyoung, not even waiting for a response before pushing Jinyoung's legs open wider.

“Wait, why? Jaebum What are you doing?” Jinyoung asked frantically, barely having gotten himself together from the blow job.

Jaebum didn’t verbally answer, but instead showed Jinyoung what he was doing, deciding to spread Jinyoungs fatty asscheeks open and pressing his mouth to the place in between. Jinyoung drew in a sharp breath, his back immediately arching as Jaebum’s tongue found its way to his hole. Jinyoung seemed to momentarily forget how to breath, and when he remembered, he exhaled the neediest sounding moan. Jaebum growled into Jinyoung's ass after hearing the desperate sound, savagely licking and sucking at Jinyoung's puckering entrance.

Jinyoung hadn't expected it at all, since Jaebum had intentionally caught the younger off guard. He remember that one of the bookmarked pages in the kinks book was rimming, so Jaebum surprised Jinyoung with it, and he was glad he did. The younger’s reaction was something to die for, and Jaebum enjoyed hearing the loud noises that emitted from Jinyoung's throat. It was safe to say that rimming was definitely something Jinyoung enjoyed. As much as Jaebum loved to hear Jinyoung moan though, he also remembered that they couldn’t be too loud, or else the other members would definitely be in for quite the shock.

“Jinyoung, baby, you have to be quieter, the maknaes room is right next door.” Jaebum warned, pulling away from Jinyoung's ass for a few second. Jaebum gently ran his finger over Jinyoung's hole in place of his tongue, wanting to feel him clenching around nothing. Jinyoung seemed to moan louder at that though, as if completely ignoring what had Jaebum said. “Jinyoung are you listening? Didn’t I just say-“

“Jaebum I like it when you call me baby…” Jinyoung moaned out, his words coming out in small puffs of breath. He looked down at Jaebum, locking eyes with the elder, desperation in his pupils. “... please say it again…” he whined.

Jaebum’s eyes widened, completely surprised by this new information. Jaebum didn’t think that Jinyoung had a pet name kink too, and that only made Jaebum want Jinyoung more. He didn’t mind calling Jinyoung a pet name at all, especially if it’s ‘baby’. Jaebum already thought of Jinyoung as his baby, even if he’s never really called the younger that before. Just the cute way Jinyoung acts sometimes makes Jaebum almost slip up and call him a cute name, but he’s never really crossed that line of nicknames before with Jinyoung. Jinyoung was always just Jinyoung, and Jaebum was always just Jaebum. ‘Baby’ just so happened to accidentally slip out of Jaebum’s mouth a few moments ago, and Jinyoung seemed to like it a lot, therefore giving Jaebum the freedom to finally call Jinyoung as such.

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t know that was another kink of yours.” Jaebum stated, figuring that the pet name was why Jinyoung had moaned so loud just before. Jaebum placed another open mouth kiss over Jinyoung's hole, drawing out a whine.

“Fuck, Jaebum please keep talking, shit…” Jinyoung's body shuddered under Jaebum’s tongue, the younger’s voice coming out whiny and shaky.

“You like hearing my voice baby?” Jaebum asked when he pulled away from Jinyoung ass away once more.

“Yes, yes Jaebum, I like hearing you and being called your baby…” Jinyoung said, reaching down to relive his ignored erection.

Jaebum grabbed Jinyoung's wrist, moving his hand away from his member. Jinyoung whined in response, wanting to release himself after so much built up pressure in his groin. “Don’t touch, okay?”

“Jaebum…” Jinyoung groaned as a response, his dick twitching against his stomach from just hearing Jaebum’s low and soft voice.

Jaebum wrapped his hand around Jinyoung's member, pumping it slowly to help ease the pressure there. “You didn’t know you liked pet names before?” Jaebum inquired curiously, still a bit surprised about it.

“N-no…. no one really called m-me a pet n-name...Jaebum I like hearing y-you say it…” Jinyoung stuttered, his hips rolling into Jaebum’s hand which was making it harder for him to keep his thoughts straight. “Jaebum please say it…” he begged desperately.

Jaebum felt his own cock twitch, Jinyoung's desperate cries only making him unbearably hard. He liked that side of Jinyoung that became careless and needy. Jaebum admittedly loved Jinyoung's shy side as well, but when Jinyoung was vocal and open about what he wanted or liked, Jaebum had no heart to deny the younger what he begged for. “But, baby I can't talk with my face in your ass…” Jaebum pointed out, throwing the pet name in the sentence just to satisfy Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung groaned in response, obviously affected by Jaebum’s every word. “Then just use your hand…” Jinyoung tried to grab his own member once more, since Jaebum’s slow tugs to his length wasn’t giving him the release he craved. 

Jaebum again noticed this though, and smacked the small area where jinyoung's thigh met his bottom. Right after though, a surprising amount of precum leaked out of Jinyoung's tip, and a loud whimper came from the younger. Jaebum’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor, as he wasn’t expecting such an arousing response from Jinyoung. Jinyoung was panting, his cheeks a dark pink as he avoided Jaebum’s eyes.

“Jinyoung… d-did you… w-was that-?” Jaebum couldn’t even for a sentence. It was literally the sexiest things he’s ever witnessed. He could barely keep his own pants on, since his member was straining against the fabric of them. Jaebum did remember that spanking was something that Jinyoung had bookmarked, but he never imagined Jinyoung to enjoy it that much. Jaebum’s hand was nearly soaked with the amount of precum that had escaped Jinyoung's members, and loud squelching noises emitted from it as he quickened the pace of his jerks up and down Jinyoung's length.

“Fuck, Jaebum more...” Jinyoung whined out, his fingers digging into the sheets below him. He was probably begging for release, since his hips were bucking up fast to meet with Jaebum’s tugs.

“O-Okay, okay baby I hear you.” Jaebum said, his mind too clouded with everything Jinyoung at this point. From the youngers moaning and whimpering , to the way his body shook when overwhelmed with pleasure, to just the cute shy glances Jinyoung gives, Jaebum was enraptured by it all and was literally wrapped around Jinyoung's little finger. He squeezed his fingers tightly around Jinyoung's cock, twisting his hand and allowing Jinyoung to fuck into it, while at the same time kissing up Jinyoung's stomach.

“J-Jaebum~... I-It’s so good…” moaned, his hands now balling into Jaebum’s shirt since the elder was back to hovering over him.

“You like it?” Jaebum asked in the crook of Jinyoung's neck, continuing to talk while his mouth left light marks there.

Jinyoung tilted his head away, allowing Jaebum more access to his neck. He hummed out a strangled yes in response to Jaebum's question, his breathing quickening as he approached his climax. His fingers tugged at Jaebum’s shirt, holding on for anything he could as his raced towards his end. “I-I’m s-so close!” 

“Cum baby, cum for me.” Jaebum whispered into his ear, low and seductive and  _ very _ effective in sending Jinyoung over the edge. Jinyoung gasped as he came, short moans and whimpers leaving his throat as Jaebum tugged him through his release. Thick ropes of cum spurted out of Jinyoung's member, his body shaking and convulsing as he was finally released of the pressure in his groin.

His head pressed back into the mattress, the last of his liquids leaving him as Jaebum milked him of it. He let out a shaky breath of satisfaction, still breathing heavily, yet completely blissed out. Jaebum could only drink in the sight under him, and he couldn’t keep himself from placing more kisses to Jinyoung's neck and jaw; Jinyoung was just too beautiful to not worship. From his deep pink cheeks, to his porcelain skin, and messy hair; Jinyoung was all Jaebum could focus on, and even his own raging erection came second to Jinyoung's beauty.

“Why are you so good at this?” Jinyoung panted out, surprisingly being the first to talk between them.

Jaebum was a bit caught off guard, too busy staring down at the younger to expect him to say anything. He was also not expecting a complement, which only boosted his ego a bit more and made him want to exceed Jinyoung's expectations once again. Jaebum would spend all of his days like this with Jinyoung if he could, he really couldn’t think of anything else he’d rather be doing. Well, besides other normal couple things with Jinyoung. If Jinyoung even wanted to be a normal couple.

“I don’t know, I guess I just have a knack for it….” Jaebum said jokingly, getting a light chuckle from Jinyoung. “So… I think I’ve found out a few more of your kinks.”

Jinyoung's eyes widened, as if he hadn’t even thought about that up until now. “O-Oh, really? I… um… I didn’t even notice any…” he said awkward, reverting to his shy ways after Jaebum had mentioned the subject.

“Yeah, well I noticed a couple.” Jaebum stated,

“A c-couple?” Jinyoung asked in disbelief, as if he didn’t even know he had more that one.

“Yeah, it’s normal to have multiple.” Jaebum stated reassuringly while subconsciously playing with Jinyoung's hair. “For one, you seem to  _ really _ like rimming.”

“Ah, oh, y-yeah…” Jinyoung muttered, his cheeks changing colors once again in embarrassment.

You also like pet names and spanking, which I was pretty surprised about… oh and you seem to  _ really _ enjoy being dominated.” Jaebum stated, Jinyoung's reaction to it all still fresh in his mind.

“I d-don’t like spanking…” Jinyoung said, covering his face and turning his head away from Jaebum.

Jaebum shook his head, pulling Jinyoung's hands away from his face. He leaned in close, his eyes still dark and filled with impure things. “So you’re telling me that you didn’t like it at all when I hit you lightly here?” Jaebum asked, his hand again lightly smacking the area he had striked earlier.

Jinyoung gasped lightly, his bottom lip sucked in between his teeth as he tried to hold back a whimper. He shook his head in response, obviously lying, but Jaebum knew that the younger just didn’t want to admit it. Jinyoung finally let out a shaky breath, his whole body shuddering in response to the light sting of his skin.

“It looks like the opposite to me, but I guess we’ll have to see about it some other time.” Jaebum said, allowing them to drop the topic for now, but he’d definitely have to explore that kink with Jinyoung sometime soon, since his curiosity about it would eat him up anyway.

Jinyoung looked up at Jaebum’s hungry eyes, barely able to hold eye contact as he spoke. “U-Um… Jaebum… you’re still…  _ excited _ , aren’t you?” He asked.

Jaebum wasn’t surprised by the question, since his actions showed that he was still riled up. He hadn’t moved away from Jinyoung, still hovering closely over the younger, his eyes boring down into the man under him, and the hand he had on Jinyoung's thigh was slowly traveling up to a more private area.

“Of course I am, I haven’t touched myself once.” Jaebum stated, placing another kiss to Jinyoung's neck. “I’ll take care of it though, don’t worry.”

“Ah, b-but, Jaebum… are you sure you don’t want me to…” Jinyoung offered, trailing off a bit at the end. He sounded embarrassed to even offer, but Jaebum could tell he was a bit nervous, and he didn’t want to push Jinyoung to do something he didn’t feel comfortable doing.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Jaebum mumbled in the crook of Jinyoung's neck, not wanting to move from their positions.

Jinyoung obviously had a different plan though, since he probably felt a bit weird being the only one half naked. His body was pressed against Jaebum’s, and Jaebum knew that the heat and feeling of them against each other like that would probably turn Jinyoung on again, which is why the younger started to squirm out of Jaebum’s grasp.

“I just… need to put my pants on…” Jinyoung stated, trying to get out from under the elder.

Jaebum wished that Jinyoung didn’t moved, and he pulled the younger back towards him. He wanted to just lay there, but Jinyoung was trying to get away from him, which wasn’t something he was willing to let happen. He needed to know what Jinyoung thought of all this going on between them anyway. He wanted to know if he was just there for Jinyoung's sexual curiosities, or if it was more than that. Jaebum thought that it was pretty obvious that he was attracted to Jinyoung in a serious manner, but it wasn’t so clear as to what Jinyoung wanted. Jaebum needed to find out exactly where their relationship stood, and he couldn't allow Jinyoung to get away without getting a real answer from him about their relationship status.

“Jinyoung don’t move.” Jaebum stated, pinning the younger under him.

Jinyoung stopped and looked at Jaebum, his eyebrows furrowing. Jaebum took a deep breath; it was either now or never, and Jaebum wasn't the type to let opportunities get away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing got shittier :)


	5. Chapter 5

“Jinyoung, don’t move.”

Jinyoung was a bit caught off guard, stopping his movement and focusing on Jaebum. “What? W-Why not?”

Jaebum looked away, gathering the courage to ask Jinyoung what he’d been wondering about for the past few days. He looked back down at Jinyoung who was waiting patiently for him to speak, probably noticing that something was on his mind. “Jinyoung, can I ask you…”

Jinyoung nodded slowly, waiting for Jaebum to continue. “What is it?...” Jinyoung urged, his brows furrowing at Jaebum's hesitated.

“...What…. What exactly is this? What are we doing?” Jaebum finally asked, his eyes searching Jinyoung's face for an answer.

“Th-This?” Jinyoung repeated as a question, looking to Jaebum for more clarification.

Jaebum nodded. “This. Us. We… we’re doing these things with each other that… you know, most people don’t do together unless they’re uh, somewhat  _ involved _ with each other. But… I don’t know where we stand in regards to that…”

Jinyoung's eyes looked past Jaebum's to the ceiling as he thought, and Jaebum wished he could think faster. He was dying to know what their relationship was, and the fact that Jinyoung was already taking so long to think about it didn’t bode well for Jaebum. He wanted the answer to be what he hoped for, but he wasn’t sure if Jinyoung wanted the same thing that he wanted. It was a bit nerve wracking, and Jaebum couldn’t keep his mind off of the possibility of something more being between them.

“Jaebum, I…” Jinyoung started before pausing right after, shaking his head as he got his thoughts together. “... I don’t know… I don’t know what we’re doing…”

Jaebum frowned, his eyebrows furrowing at the response. “Well… then… why are we doing this? I mean, I know it had something to do with the kink book, but-“

“Then that’s it. We’re doing this to test out kinks, aren’t we?” Jinyoung said, almost as if he didn’t understand why Jaebum was asking him about it.

Jaebum shook his head, not really understanding-- or liking the answer Jinyoung was giving him. “But… I mean, yes, that's how it started. But Jinyoung, there’s more to it, isn’t there?”

Jinyoung took in a deep breath, which Jaebum didn’t see as a good sign at all. Jaebum wanted so bad for Jinyoung to say that there was more to it than just the sex, that Jinyoung wanted him more than for just his body and pleasure. Jaebum knew that he wanted Jinyoung for more than just that. He literally loved everything about Jinyoung, and he wouldn’t want to live in a world without him. All Jaebum wanted was for those feelings to be returned, but based on the direction of this conversation, he wasn’t too sure if that’s what would happen.

“Jaebum… I don’t know what you want me to say… what is it that you’re hoping for?” Jinyoung asked.

Jaebum didn't know how much clearer he could be. He hoped that Jinyoung could understand what he was saying, but he wasn't sure if it really was clicking with him. It almost sounded as if Jinyoung hadn't even thought of Jaebum in the regards of being in a real relationship, which wasn't exactly what Jaebum wanted to hear. “I’m… I'm hoping for you… I want you, Jinyoung…”

“Jaebum I’ve told you that I wanted you. I wouldn’t do this with anyone else…” Jinyoung admitted a bit shyly, again shifting his still half naked body to escape from Jaebum.

Jaebum sat back, allowing Jinyoung to get up and retrieve his pants. He felt his heart beat against his chest, as he was happy to hear Jinyoung say that, but he knew that Jinyoung didn't mean it in the way he wanted him to. It was true, Jinyoung had said he wanted Jaebum, but it was never said outside of an intimate situation, which only put more doubt into Jaebum's mind. “Yeah, you’ve said it while you were horny. I mean, I wouldn’t do this with anyone else either because… I want you all the time, Jinyoung…”

“A-All the time?” Jinyoung asked, taken aback by Jaebum's words as he dressed himself.

Jaebum nodded. “Yes… god, I’ve never told anyone this…” he stated, looking away from Jinyoung out of embarrassment. He was on the verge of voicing his feelings to Jinyoung, and he wasn't sure If it was the right thing to do, but he knew he couldn't go on much longer without doing so. Jaebum wanted Jinyoung to know just how much he meant to him, but he had no idea how Jinyoung would respond. He hoped for a good response, but then again, Jaebum had suppressed his feelings the whole time, therefore Jinyoung's reaction was unpredictable based on the sudden circumstances.

“What Jaebum, what is it?...” Jinyoung asked a bit nervously, yet a curious wonder in his eye.

Jaebum somehow gathered the courage though, taking a deep inhale to try and calm his nerves as he confessed his true feelings to the younger. “Jinyoung I… I like you. I like you a lot…”

Jinyoung sat back down on the bed, his eyes wide with disbelief. Jaebum didn't really understand the reaction, and he couldn't tell if it were a bad one or a good one, but he waited patiently for a proper response. Jinyoung then started shaking his head, his brows furrowing as he stared down at the mattress. “Jaebum… d-do you mean…. do you like…. doing this with me?” 

Jaebum wanted to facepalm himself. Jinyoung was either completely missing the message, or purposely ignoring it. Either way, neither thing meant anything good for Jaebum, and he prayed that Jinyoung would understand his feelings. He'd finally said it straight out, for the first time confessing his feelings to Jinyoung. Jaebum hadn't even told anyone else about his long crush on the younger before now, and Jinyoung was the only one at this point to now know. 

He wanted to tell Jinyoung everything, since it seemed that there might be a chance of something being between them. He didn't want to waste the chance he had right in front of him. “Yes, I like doing this with you, but that’s not it. I mean, I  _ like _ you Jinyoung. Like,... I like everything about you. You’re…  _ everything _ to me… and I don’t want this to just be something that we do as like…. friends with benefits…”

“Oh…” was all Jinyoung said, his fingers playing with the sheets of the bed. He looked as if he were deep in thought yet surprised, still trying to absorb what Jaebum had told him.

Jaebum was already this far, and with Jinyoung still not responding much, he decided that continuing wouldn't hurt. Jaebum felt that Jinyoung needed to know just how bad he wanted him, and with everything else he had said already, adding more to it would only increase the amount of reasons that Jaebum had for having such feelings for the younger. “Jinyoung I want more with you… I’ve wanted more for a long time… Jinyoung I can’t live with my feelings anymore if we continue to do this. I need to know…”

“Jaebum...” Jinyoung called out in a mumble, almost seeming scared to interrupt the elder with his name.

“...I need to know if you feel the same.” Jaebum continued, getting straight to the point. He needed to know if what him and Jinyoung were doing was out of feelings for each other, or if it really was just to “try out some kinks”. If it was true what Jinyoung was saying, that he wouldn't do what they were doing with anyone else besides Jaebum, then surely it would mean that Jinyoung had done sort of special feelings for Jaebum, and it meant that they could take their relationship a step further. Jaebum needed to clarify though, he wasn't the type to wait and let things spiral out of his control. He wanted Jinyoung to confess his own true feelings so that he wouldn't be in the dark about them anymore.

Jinyoung sighed though, looking more shocked and confused rather than happy, which made Jaebum even more nervous than he had been. “Jaebum, I… I don’t know….” Jinyoung mumbled, almost guiltily looking away to avoid the hurt in Jaebum's eye.

“What? What do you mean?” Jaebum was less hurt and more confused. He didn’t understand how Jinyoung could “not know”. It just didn’t make sense. In Jaebum’s mind, it was either Jinyoung had feelings for him, or he didn’t. Was it really that complicated that Jinyoung couldn’t differentiate between the two options?

“I mean… I just… I don’t know…” Jinyoung repeated, seeming to not have any other way to explain himself.

Jaebum sighed, his eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion. He just didn’t get it. He knew that he liked Jinyoung for sure, there was no questioning it. So why couldn’t Jinyoung figure out if he returned those feelings? Was he also confused on whether this was just a sexual relationship or not? Yet, Jaebum was opening the door for there to be more between them, so it couldn’t be that. 

It just didn’t make sense how Jinyoung didn’t know his own feelings. Maybe he was the type to deny them. Maybe He needed more time to come to terms with how he feels towards Jaebum. If that was the case, then Jaebum needed to be more understanding. He didn’t want to pressure or rush Jinyoung, even if Jinyoung was literally the only thing in the world he’s ever wanted this bad. He couldn’t force Jinyoung to make a decision, but he also couldn’t ignore the little sting of pain he felt in his heart from the younger’s indecision.

“Oh… I see…” Jaebum responded, not wanting to push Jinyoung any further than he already has.

Jinyoung stood from the bed, an apologetic look on his face but Jaebum couldn't tell if he actually felt that way. “I’m sorry, I just… this is all so sudden and I just…” Jinyoung trailed off, shaking his head.

Jaebum hated hearing Jinyoung apologize, even though Jinyoung was the one currently leaving Jaebum in the dark. He didn't want Jinyoung to feel bad for not returning the feelings, but it was hard to not hold it against him when Jaebum had just laid out everything he's been hiding for so long in front of him. Jaebum didn't know exactly how he should feel at that moment, but he definitely didn't want Jinyoung to be sorry. He cares too much about Jinyoung to allow that. “No, no I get it… it’s fine…”

“I’m sorry…” Jinyoung said again as he walked to the door. He seemed to feel bad, but Jaebum just shook his head in response, waving away his apology. Jinyoung took one last look back before leaving; Jaebum never taking his eyes off of the younger until the door closed behind him.

He didn't know what emotions were coursing through him just then, but none of them were good. Was it  _ really _ that confusing? Jaebum had just told Jinyoung straight out that he had feelings for him, there wasn't much else there to think about. It was literally either Jinyoung liked Jaebum back, or he didn't. Jaebum could barely imagine Jinyoung not liking him back though, especially with all the things they had done at this point. Granted, things were moving really fast, way faster than Jaebum had really anticipated their relationship to move. But he would have been happy about things moving fast if it just meant having Jinyoung in his arms quicker.

Maybe it was too fast for Jinyoung though. Maybe Jaebum had, in fact, pushed himself onto Jinyoung too much, and now Jinyoung was regretting it all, especially since Jaebum had confessed to him. Maybe Jinyoung really had not intended any feelings to bloom between them, and now that they were, he was going to separate himself from Jaebum. That only made Jaebum feel worse though, as the thought of never being able to see and touch and just be in the presence of Jinyoung anymore nearly killed him. 

Yet, it didn't make sense. If Jinyoung felt that things were moving too fast, why would he continue to do this with Jaebum? They've only done it twice at this point, but if Jinyoung really didn't want it, wouldn't he have stopped Jaebum the first time? It wasn't like Jaebum forced himself onto Jinyoung, and he gave Jinyoung more than enough opportunities to deny him. So how could Jinyoung suddenly turn Jaebum away after willingly doing these intimate acts with him? It just didn't add up in Jaebum's head, since most people usually have feelings for the person they become intimate with. But, maybe Jinyoung just didn't. Maybe Jinyoung really didn't take any of it seriously. 

The only sliver of hope Jaebum had was the fact that Jinyoung didn't completely deny his feelings. He just said he didn’t know, which didn't make Jaebum feel all that much better, but it was the only thing he had left to hold on to. Even though he felt that Jinyoung may have just turned him away, Jaebum couldn't stop himself from still infatuating himself with the younger. He still loved everything about Jinyoung and still felt strongly for him, and it would take a lot for Jaebum to forget all of that.

Even long after Jinyoung had left the room, Jaebum’s mind was on him. He wondered if Jinyoung was thinking about him. He wondered if Jinyoung was making a decision. He also wondered if Jinyoung would never make a decision and the two would go back to little to no intimate contact with each other. That thought scared Jaebum the most, and he much preferred to think about the good possible out comes.

Yet it was still overwhelmingly nerve wracking not knowing how Jinyoung felt about him. The only thing he could do was give Jinyoung time, but Jaebum was a pretty impatient person. Even when the two were at dinner that night, Jaebum couldn’t keep his eyes from glancing over to the younger constantly, as if he would just outright confess his feelings for Jaebum in front of everyone. Jaebum actually wouldn’t have minded that, even if it was a bit compromising and embarrassing, he would have felt proud that Jinyoung was confident enough to expose his attraction to Jaebum in front of everyone. But of course that didn’t happen, because Jinyoung isn’t that type of person.

Either way though, Jaebum just wanted a sign or a message, or anything that could at least hint to Jinyoung returning his feelings. Or denying them. Jaebum hated thinking about the latter option, but it was still indeed, an option. Jaebum could just be throwing himself out to Jinyoung, and Jinyoung might not even want him in the first place. Even though the odds of that seemed slim, they are still existing odds, and Jaebum was very wary of them.

Yet Jaebum still held onto hope, since later that night when preparing for bed, he kept a close eye on Jinyoung's whereabouts and behavior. Every time he saw the younger, he’d often glance at him out of the corner of his eye, anticipating the moment Jinyoung would run to him and confess his own feelings. Jaebum knew that a moment like that was just a figment of his own wild imagination, but he hoped that at some point soon he would find out how Jinyoung really felt about their relationship, and if he did in fact want to take it further.

Unfortunately though, that didn’t happen, and Jaebum went to bed feeling a bit down. Like stated earlier, he was impatient, and he thought that just a few hours would be enough time for Jinyoung to fully figure out his feelings. It obviously wasn’t though; Jaebum hadn’t even talked to Jinyoung again since that moment they had earlier. Jaebum didn’t exactly think that was a good thing, and he already missed Jinyoung even though he saw the younger multiple times since then. It was just in passing though, and Jinyoung would shoot a quick glance at Jaebum before going on with his business, acting as if nothing was happening between them behind closed doors.

Jaebum sort of hated that. Acting like Jinyoung doesn’t make his heart beat faster and his body tingle was the absolute worst thing. He wanted to hug the younger at random times, and there were no words good enough that could properly explain how much Jaebum had been longing to just kiss him. He’s been acting for so long around Jinyoung, and now finally,  _ finally _ he could show his true feelings. Of course, when he showed his true feelings though, he got an unfavored response which resulted in him impatiently waiting again.

Jaebum could barely sleep that night. He was so worried about Jinyoung and everything that had happened between them. He still wondered: what made Jinyoung so indecisive? Maybe Jinyoung was too overwhelmed with everything. Maybe the younger actually  _ didn’t _ like how Jaebum pleasured him. Maybe Jaebum had expressed his feelings too early. There were so many factors and things that Jaebum could have done differently. He didn’t know if changing anything that had happened in the past two days would have made the outcome any different, or if it would have been the same either way.

It was possible that it wasn’t Jaebum’s actions that Jinyoung didn’t like, but maybe it was just Jaebum himself. Jaebum worries that maybe Jinyoung just didn’t like him as a person. They’ve known each other for so long, and they get along fine, but that doesn’t mean that Jinyoung can tolerate  _ everything _ about Jaebum. They have fought before in the past, not that often, but many of their fights were just over Jaebum’s attitude and thinking. So maybe Jinyoung just didn’t find them compatible at all.

That thought of course didn’t help calm Jaebum’s nerves at all, and it just made him feel more on edge about everything. He tried to get some sleep that night, and it was hard with all of these uncertain thoughts in his head, but he eventually drifted off, his dreams of course being filled with wonderful scenes of him and Jinyoung together.

One of the dreams happened to be of Jinyoung sneaking into Jaebum’s room late at night, quietly tiptoeing in as to not alert anyone of his presence. His bare feet padded against the floor to Jaebum’s bed, the soft steps stopping just next to where Jaebum laid. Jaebum could only watch, his body unable to move in his dream state, as Jinyoung slowly swung his leg over the elder's body. Jaebum just waited eagerly, his mind already coming to terms with the fact that this would be another wet dream, and that he would have to clean his dirtied boxers when he wakes up; but for now, he wanted to enjoy the imaginary situation while he could.

He felt Jinyoung's weight settle on his lower half as the younger’s legs pinned down on both sides of Jaebum’s hips. Jinyoung's crotch met with Jaebum, delicious warmth already spreading through Jaebum’s body. Jinyoung then started to lean down towards Jaebum, the latter preparing himself for a fluttery kiss that he usually dreams of having with Jinyoung. But instead, Jinyoung leaned down to his ear, his soft lips gently brushing against the shell of Jaebum’s ear sending shivers down Jaebum’s spine.

“I’m so sorry…” Jinyoung whispered, leaving Jaebum a bit confused.

What was Jinyoung sorry about? He hadn’t done anything wrong, had he? Jaebum knew that this was a dream, and he shouldn’t take it seriously, but he’s read that dreams often expose one's inner thoughts and emotions. Maybe Jaebum had been internally blaming Jinyoung for being unsure of his feelings, but he didn’t want to admit to it. Or maybe he thought that Jinyoung should feel sorry for being so indecisive.

Yet, Jaebum thought it was weird how aware of his dream he was. People usually don’t know that they are dreaming, and they perceive the situation as real. Yet Jaebum knew from the start, as soon as Jinyoung had opened his room door and snuck inside, that he was dreaming. The only explanation for that was lucid dreaming. Jaebum had only done it once or twice, but the dreams never usually last this long.

“I… couldn’t hold myself back… I’m really sorry…” Jinyoung repeated.

Jaebum still didn’t understand what was going on, and he wished that dream Jinyoung would explain himself. Well, he did want an explanation, before Jinyoung had rolled his hips down against Jaebum’s. Then, Jaebum wanted to pinch himself. He  _ was _ dreaming, right? This was just a wet dream, wasn’t it? Yet, Jinyoung's crotch rubbing against his own felt so warm, so good, so  _ real _ .

Jinyoung rolled his hips again, lightly gasping in the crook of Jaebum’s neck, and suddenly, Jaebum could move his body. His hands immediately grabbed Jinyoung's hips, a soft breath escaping him. Jinyoung looked up at Jaebum, a look of surprise flashing across his face only briefly before he rubbed their crotches together once again.

Jaebum’s eyes widened, his brain just now wrapping around what was happening. This was a dream…. wasn’t it?

“Jaebum I need you, fuck…” Jinyoung whispered.

Jaebum nearly choked. “J-Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung rolled his hips down again, a soft moan coming out of him. Jaebum could feel the younger’s very real erection growing in his pants, and suddenly, Jaebum was snapped out of his dreamlike state into reality.

“I’m so sorry, I just… I need this right now…” Jinyoung apologized once again, along with another roll of his hips, but this one harder and more desperate.

Jaebum’s breath was stolen from him, and he momentarily blanked, forgetting everything except for how wonderful he felt in between his legs. “J-Jinyoung… what…?”

“I don’t know, Jaebum I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about you and I just want to feel you again…” Jinyoung said softly, another moan leaving his lips.

Jaebum swore he was dreaming. This whole time he thought he was. Yet, Jinyoung's weight on his lower body felt real, and Jinyoung's hands gripping Jaebum’s shirt felt real, and Jinyoung's hardening member rubbing against Jaebum’s own felt oh so real and oh so good. But it also felt weirdly wrong. It felt like this was way too sudden and way too out of the blue. Jaebum loved every part of this dream turned to reality, but he was just so caught off guard and so confused. Usually he would have a ‘don’t question it, just enjoy it’ type of attitude, but Jaebum was more worried about Jinyoung's sudden change of behavior, and felt rather concerned more than anything else.

“Jinyoung, wait …” Jaebum tightly gripped Jinyoung's hips to stop the younger’s movements, yet Jinyoung ignored Jaebum’s calls and fought against his tight grip, continuing to grind against the elder.

“Jaebum I don’t want to wait, I want you now…” Jinyoung confessed like he had a few hours earlier, again giving Jaebum a feeling of uncertainty as to whether he really meant it. Jaebum needed to straighten that part out first before anything else, he couldn’t keep doing these acts with Jinyoung if he wasn’t even sure if the younger wanted him in a serious way. Though, Jinyoung's unexpected actions are throwing Jaebum off, and he was trying to wrap his head around everything, but it was somewhat hard to think while being stimulated by the person he adored so.

Yet Jaebum needed to persist. He needed to make sure that what they were doing wasn’t just out of lust, and that there were more feelings behind it. “Jinyoung seriously, s-stop…” he tried again.

“Please? Please Jaebum I need this…” Jinyoung begged, his soft breaths ghosting over Jaebum’s face, nearly driving the elder mad.

Jaebum felt his heart thump hard in his chest and his dick twitched a bit from just Jinyoung's desperate words. He couldn’t help but admire the younger’s face that was probably flushed red in the blue light of the moons light shining through Jaebum’s blinds. Just the ethereal beauty of Jinyoung left Jaebum breathless, and along with the fluid rolls of their hips together, Jaebum swore this whole scene had to be heaven on earth.

Though Jaebum loved everything happening right in front of him, he still couldn’t allow it to go on. If this, whatever ‘ _ this _ ’ was exactly, was going to continue between them, then Jaebum needed his long pondered on questions to be answered first. He needed Jinyoung to come to a conclusion on the status of their relationship, and Jaebum couldn’t allow anything more to happen before he got that. Not even this surprise attack from the younger he's been longing for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TODAYS MY BIRTHDAY BUT I DECIDED TO GIVE YOU GUYS THE PRESENT OF ANOTHER SHITTY CHAPTER SNDDNDNFJ


	6. Chapter 6

“Jaebum please, I need this…” Jinyoung stated desperately, trying to move even with Jaebum's fingers digging into his hips.

Jaebum was still trying to get his mind around Jinyoung's sudden attack on him in the middle of the night, not knowing what suddenly got into the younger. All he knew was that he couldn't keep doing these ‘activities’ with Jinyoung when he was still unsure of the youngers true intentions, and that he needed to clarify that first before anything else.

“What exactly do you need, Jinyoung? Do you need just  _ this _ ? Just us doing dirty things together to get you off? Is  _ that _ the only reason why you snuck into my room at this hour of the night? Or… do you need more? Is there… something  _ else _ driving you to do this?” Jaebum asked, firing his questions at the younger like bullets. 

He watched Jinyoung's face soften as the younger absorbed the questions, his hips stilling as he thought about everything. Jaebum could tell that Jinyoung was assessing the whole situation, and possibly regretting it by the way his face changed. He never wanted Jinyoung to regret it though, he just wanted Jinyoung to tell him the truth. To tell him what their relationship was, and to come to terms with whatever he was feeling for Jaebum … if there was even any feelings there for him.

“Something…  _ else _ ?” Jinyoung repeated, as if he’s never thought about it before. He's had to have thought about it before though, especially with Jaebum confessing his feelings; there was no way that Jinyoung hadn’t at least had the thought of having ‘something  _ else _ ’ with Jaebum cross his mind.

“Jinyoung, I can't do this with you if you don’t feel the same way I do… please tell me the truth, tell me how you really feel about me…” Jaebum sat up slightly in his bed, leaning back against the headboard while Jinyoung stayed put straddled over his lap, the younger too busy in his thoughts to even notice the position they were currently in. He watched Jinyoung nervously look down, his eyebrows knitting together as he gathered his thoughts.

“Is… is what you said true? Do you actually… like me? In  _ that _ way?” Jinyoung asked, seeming to finally communicate with Jaebum the way he’s been wanting the younger to.

Jaebum took no hesitation to nod his head. He was a bit surprised by the question, since he thought he sounded pretty sincere when he confessed to Jinyoung earlier. But obviously, Jinyoung still had doubts. “Of course, I meant it all. These past two days have been like… heaven. Seriously, it’s all I’ve wanted for so long, and I want even more still. And, I know things between us have moved incredibly fast but, even still… I just… I want to know if you want the same…”

Jaebum watched Jinyoung's facial expression as he spoke and after he finished, noticing the way the younger’s eyes slightly lit up and his jaw dropped just a bit. Jaebum has no idea why Jinyoung was surprised at all, since he had basically said all of this to the younger earlier. Either way though, Jaebum hoped that his feelings finally got through to Jinyoung. 

Judging by Jinyoung's reaction, it seemed that he was still taking it all in; the fact that Jaebum had feelings for him as more than just a friend. Jaebum waited patiently, even though he was actually really impatient, and the warmth of Jinyoung's body on top of him was starting to really affect him in a way that was less than appropriate for the current moment. Yet Jaebum ignored his growing attraction and arousal, focusing solely the only thing that mattered which was Jinyoung's response.

Yet, Jinyoung's response didn’t help Jaebum’s ‘excitement’ at all. In fact, Jinyoung's response did the complete opposite, and made the bulge in Jaebum’s shorts grow to nearly full size. It made his whole body tingle, and the hairs on his arms and neck stand on end. It made his heart thump against his chest so hard, he felt it may bust out of his rib cage.

When Jinyoung responded with the softest, gentlest, sweetest kiss Jaebum had ever received in the entirety of his life, he knew without any words being exchanged what the younger’s answer was.

“Of course I want the same. I’ve always wanted the same...” Jinyoung mumbled against Jaebum’s lips, deciding to verbally voice his answer anyway, even though it was pretty obvious by that point.

At that point, Jaebum couldn’t hold himself back. All of the times he’s wanted to hold Jinyoung, touch Jinyoung, press himself against Jinyoung's slightly smaller frame, and just have any physical contact with the younger at all, were pent up inside of him, and each time he’d have to restrain himself from any of it. Even when him and Jinyoung had started to mess around together, Jaebum still kept boundaries. He had never wanted to push himself too hard onto Jinyoung (even though he had done that from the beginning anyway), since he was too afraid of ruining the relationship that they already had in hopes for a better, more intimate one.

Just then though, all boundaries were lost. All restraints were broken. All the thoughts and worries that had been swimming around in Jaebum’s head for days were ignored and dissipated. In that moment, all Jaebum could do was pull Jinyoung towards himself, pressing their lips flush together in a feverish kiss. He felt Jinyoung sigh in satisfaction against his lips, the younger only hesitating a little before completely kissing Jaebum back. 

Jaebum felt warmth run through his whole body, leaving small goosebumps across his skin. He never thought that this moment would happen, and he definitely never imagined it like this. Yet Jaebum wasn’t complaining at all, he didn’t care how or when it happened, all he cared about was Jinyoung finally confessing that he feels the same way for Jaebum as Jaebum felt for him. Jaebum couldn’t be any more happier, anymore hope filled and grateful than he was as he was kissing Jinyoung. 

Their chests were pressed together and arms circled around each other’s bodies in a tight embrace as their lips moved slowly together, as if just the slightest movement would make the other disappear. Jinyoung felt so warm and comfortable and unimaginably real— if that even made any sense. None of it did to Jaebum, the cocktail of feelings brewing inside of him all sent very mixed signals, yet each signal sent a shockwave of adrenaline and hunger and desire for Jinyoung throughout his body that he couldn’t ignore. So he indulged, adding a bit more pressure to their liplock and deepening the kiss, his hands resting on Jinyoung's hips just above the hem of his shirt. Jinyoung was the first to pull away though, leaning back just to gaze at Jaebum with those beautiful doe eyes of his.

“Jaebum, I want you so bad, and I don’t mean it just sexually...” Jinyoung mumbled, then his lips immediately found their way to Jaebum’s neck, catching the elder a bit off guard.

“I w-wasn’t sure… I needed to make sure that y-you actually… felt the same…” Jaebum words came out a bit messy since Jinyoung was already sucking bruises into his neck, which he definitely wasn’t prepared for, but he wasn’t complaining about it either. He groaned st a particularly hard nibble of his neck, his grip on Jinyoung's hips tightening just slightly.

“I wasn’t sure either. I didn’t know if you were just saying things in the spur of the moment, or if you really wanted me the way you said you did.” Jinyoung explained. Jinyoung had been having the same feelings of uncertainty that Jaebum had been having. They both had been unsure of the of the other's sincerity since both of their confessions had only been during or after intimate moments. It all made sense, how Jinyoung acted so indecisive, because he couldn't figure out what jaebum truly wanted either. Jinyoung needed that reassurance that Jaebum had gave him a few minutes ago.

“Nothing I've said was ever untrue. Nor was any of it spur of the moment. I've felt all of that for a long time.” Jaebum confessed, his hands squeezing Jinyoung's hips that were gently rocking back and forth in his lap.

“Jaebum I’m so happy, I’ve wanted this for so long, you don’t understand…” Jinyoung's voice emanated from his lips that were still pressed softly against the skin of Jaebum's neck. His warm breath ghosted over the elder's skin, sending shivers down Jaebum's spine.

“I d-do understand, Jinyoung we’re idiots. We’re s-so stupid to have ignored our feelings for this long… and it took a damn book to bring us together...” Jaebum's head tilted forward into Jinyoung, his forehead resting on the younger's chest and taking in the intoxicating scent of him that Jaebum missed just for the few hours they were apart.

“I’m sorry,… Jaebum I like you a lot… and I know it's been a bit awkward between us because of it…” Jinyoung mumbled as his fingers traced the muscles and lines of Jaebum's back and spine.

“Don’t apologize. I like you a lot too.” Jaebum hugged Jinyoung closer to him, enjoying the warmth of his body and the feeling of the younger's hands roaming his own. One of the worst things Jinyoung did was apologize all the time, and Jaebum definitely didn't want to hear Jinyoung feel sorry for returning his feelings. Jaebum felt drawn to Jinyoung like a magnet, and he couldn't take his hands off of him since he finally had more freedom to touch the younger wherever he pleased without holding back.

Jinyoung was quiet for a moment, just the sound of the younger breathing in Jaebum's ears before he finally spoke. “Jaebum… will you… show me how much you like me?”

Jaebum's head whipped up to look into Jinyoung's eyes, the younger's suggestion settling between them. Jaebum felt his heartbeat increase in speed, the room feeling as if it had warmed up an overwhelming amount. Jinyoung's eyes never left Jaebum's, a contrast with the younger's usually shy behavior. But in that moment, Jinyoung's shyness was nowhere to be found, and was rather replace with desire that had been present since the younger had walked into the room. Jaebum felt it difficult to breath, his own longing for Jinyoung nearly bursting out of him. He felt Jinyoung adjust himself on his lap, the younger seemingly prepared for whatever Jaebum might do next after his invitation. 

“...If I show you, then you’ll have to do the same.” Jaebum finally stated, his eyes scanning Jinyoung from his spread thighs across Jaebum's lap to his delicious looking lips.

Jinyoung bit down on his bottom lip, the action being one that could send Jaebum completely over the edge. He then wrapped his arms around Jaebum's neck, planting his legs down firmly on either side of the elder's body, before again grinding his hips down against Jaebum's, except harder and with more pressure in between them that made Jaebum groan. “Is t-this good enough?” he asked in response to Jaebum.

“Fuck yes…” Jaebum growled, leaning forward to latch onto Jinyoung's neck.

Jinyoung whimpered, tilting his head back to allow Jaebum more access to his skin. His hips continued to move into Jaebum’s, the crotch of their thin bottoms moistening with precum as their hardened members rubbed together through the fabric.

Jaebum's grip tightened on Jinyoung's hips, his own rolling up to meet Jinyoung's in their dirty grind against each other. Jaebum left light bruises across Jinyoung's neck, the younger's addictive moans and pants being the only thing clouding Jaebum's mind. He ran his tongue over Jinyoung's soft, warm skin, tasting the slightly salty yet sweet flavor of the person he adored most. He couldn't stop leaving small kisses and marks wherever his lips could reach, coating Jinyoung with visible and invisible showings of his love.

Jinyoung started to move quicker, more desperate moans falling from his lips as he started to chase his climax. Jaebum also felt that familiar feeling scratching at his lower stomach, the feeling that he had never reached  _ with _ Jinyoung, and rather by himself after an interaction with the younger. He leaned forward and groaned into Jinyoung's ear, lightly nibbling at it as he felt the pressure in his groin build up.

“J-Jaebum…  _ fuck _ , I w-want you to cum with me th-this time…” Jinyoung stated in hard pants against Jaebum's cheek.

Jaebum hummed in response, not opposing Jinyoung's wishes at all. He already felt himself quickly reaching his climax anyway the more Jinyoung rubbed against him, just the feeling and smell and movements of the younger all so intoxicating that he couldn't even last much longer.

Jaebum's hips bucked up roughly, grunting as he was sent crashing over the edge. He rested his head on Jinyoung's shoulder as he dirtied his pants and boxers with his substance. He bit his lip as he came, tightly pulling Jinyoung down by his hips to ride out his high against the younger. 

Jinyoung wasn't far behind, his own body shaking and convulsing as he rode Jaebum to his own climax, a shaky moan escaping his lips. He wrapped his arms around Jaebum in a tight embrace, never stopping his movements as his hips stuttered and shuddered while he shot out liquids into his pants. Jinyoung tightly gripped Jaebum's large t-shirt as they both grinded against each other to ride out their orgasms, his mouth lazily trailing across Jaebum's neck and slightly exposed shoulder.

The squish of their soaked crotches still rubbing together and heavy breathing was the only present sounds in the room. Jaebum leaned back, pulling himself away from Jinyoung just enough to press their lips together in another hesitant, yet hungry kiss. Both of them acted as if they shouldn't indulge in the presence, and warmth, and feel of each other; yet they were already too far deep to turn back. Neither of them had anymore patience or will to wait any longer, so even with these feelings of still needing to hold back, neither of them did.

That hesitant loss of restraint showed in the way Jinyoung at first pulled back slightly from the kiss, making Jaebum need to chase his lips to stay connected. But then, Jinyoung suddenly pressed back hard against Jaebum's lips, his hand moving up to Jaebum's neck to hold the elder's head in place as he gave into his desires and nearly ate the elder whole.

Of course Jaebum was surprised by this sudden behavior, but he couldn't care less, not when in a deep lip lock with the person he's been longing for. He loved this side of Jinyoung anyway, where he just let's go of all of his worries and hesitation and gives into what he truly wants. Jaebum would gladly give himself to Jinyoung, if that's what he wanted, and Jinyoung seemed to be taking him up on the offer, his lips never leaving Jaebum's for even a second.

Jinyoung lightly nibbled at Jaebum's lip, pulling another groan out of the elder, and at that point Jaebum could feel himself becoming hard once again. Jaebum pulled away slightly, just to calm himself down and to get a breath of air, but Jinyoung had him trapped, the younger tugging Jaebum back towards him to press their lips together once more. 

“J-Jinyoung, wait…” Jaebum said softly, fighting against Jinyoung's tight hold once again.

“We've already waited too long…” Jinyoung said, leaning forward to place another kiss to Jaebum's lips. Jaebum couldn't blame Jinyoung for wanting to make the most of this moment they had. It felt so special, so intimate, so surreal; Jaebum wanted to bask in the atmosphere of that night forever if he could. Yet he couldn't even keep up with Jinyoung, and he felt so good yet he hadn't even had a moment to just wrap his head around everything. He felt like he was in a wonderfully dizzying state, and he needed just a minute or so to get himself together.

Jaebum leaned away from Jinyoung's advances once again, his back now against his headboard. “Hold on, give me a sec…”

Jinyoung frowned, down right pouting at Jaebum, his cheeks puffing out and eyebrows furrowing into the cutest face Jaebum had ever seen Jinyoung make. “Why?” he asked.

Jaebum felt his heart pound, and it was sort of a weird moment to get cheesy, especially with their crotches still pressed together and cum soaking their bottoms, but Jinyoung was literally the cutest person he'd ever seen, and he wanted to give him the world in that moment. He didn't even know if he could ever say no to Jinyoung, not when the younger had him so wrapped around his finger; Jaebum would literally bend over backwards for Jinyoung if that's what he wanted. Jaebum was whipped for the younger, and he'd admit to it proudly too.

“B-Because… I just… I need a second to take this all in… I-I mean, we can continue if that's what you want, I definitely don't mind…” Jaebum stated, easily giving in to Jinyoung's desires.

Jinyoung chuckled lightly, a sound that Jaebum thought could only come from angels, before laying his head on Jaebum's chest. Jinyoung pressed himself snugly against Jaebum, adjusting himself comfortably on top of the elder. “Its okay, I got too excited…” he admitted.

Jaebum felt his heart warm, his mind now only really focusing on the younger's now slow and even breathing, his body so warm and homely. “N-No, it's fine… everything you do is fine…” Jaebum stated, his eyes glued to the mop of Jinyoung's messy hair just under his chin.

Jinyoung looked up at Jaebum, his bottom lip tucked in between his teeth before he spoke, a spike of warmth shooting from Jaebum's chest throughout the rest of his body at the sight. “Everything you do is fine too.” he responded.

Jaebum's heart felt so full that it hurt, his chest nearly about to burst with the overwhelming feelings of love and care that he felt for Jinyoung. He bent his head slightly to place a small kiss on the younger's forehead, his nose buried in Jinyoung's sweet smelling hair. There was just a moment of silence between them, comfortable silence that they took to their advantage to just bask in the presence of each other.

“...Seriously though, why were you so hesitant? Wasn't it obvious that I liked you?” Jaebum asked to eventually break the silence, still not believing how long it took for them to finally come together and embrace their feelings.

Jinyoung just shook his head, a light shrug lifting his shoulders then slumping them back down. “I don't know… I overthink and second guess a lot… I thought that maybe I was interpreting your actions incorrectly…”

Jaebum sighed, actually relating to Jinyoung's overthinking and second guessing. Jaebum had been doing that the whole time too, which only took him longer to make the moves he should have made long ago. It was another thing that Jaebum loved about Jinyoung though, even with his over analyzing personality, Jaebum admired the fact that Jinyoung always thought long and hard about things, not often just throwing himself into the unknown. 

“I did too… I guess we're the same, huh?” Jaebum stated in almost a proud way. He didn't mind being the same as Jinyoung, he actually wanted to be more like the younger. He admired so much about Jinyoung, that he didn't mind taking on or sharing one or more of his traits at all.

Jinyoung nodded, humming in agreement. “I like being the same as you though. It makes me feel better about myself since you're so great…”

Jaebum could say the exact same thing back about Jinyoung, as all he's thought of the younger was how much better he was as a person. Jaebum's liked Jinyoung's personality from the start, and he's always wished he could be just like the younger someday, or at least close to it. Jinyoung seemed so much more mature and levelheaded, yet playful and mischievous enough to keep someone interested. Jaebum loved all the different sides of Jinyoung, and would never wish for him to change.

“You don't want to be like me… you're personality is wonderful as it is, I'm the one that should be more like you.” Jaebum stated, his hand slowly caressing Jinyoung's back as he spoke. He was subconsciously doing it, but it felt so right, just to feel the younger's spine, the slow inhale and exhale of his diaphragm, and the slightly defined muscles of his back.

Jinyoung obviously enjoyed it too, as he was overly relaxed and still. He allowed himself to melt into Jaebum's embrace, taking in the elder's scent and warmth that he's desired for so long. “You don't want to be like me either, I'm not that great…”

Jaebum immediately shook his head, completely disagreeing with the statement. “No, you're amazing, stay just the way you are Jinyoung, don't ever change, okay?”

Jinyoung sat up, shifting himself in a way so that he could look Jaebum straight in the eyes. “Then you don't change either, I like you just the way you are too.”

Jaebum's heart couldn't take much more of Jinyoung's love and compliments. He felt nearly lightheaded from how consumed he was by everything Jinyoung related. He couldn't even control himself anymore at this point, and it felt like some invisible unknown force pushed his face towards Jinyoung's to press a kiss to the younger's lips, as if he was too dazed to do it himself.

Jinyoung gladly accepted the lazy kiss though, the both of them willingly drowning themselves in each other. It seemed as if they were both on cloud nine, and that feeling seemed to never disappear as long as they were with each other. They never parted either, with Jinyoung ending up falling asleep against Jaebum, and Jaebum following him into slumber soon after, the both of them wanting to stay as close to each other as humanly possible.

And in addition to that, the morning after they woke up to one another's warm brown eyes, gentle touches and loving kisses; the mood from the night before continuing to hang lightly in the air. Lightly though, only because not too long after they woke did Jinyoung ask a question that cut the atmosphere up into shreds:

“How much longer do we have together before we need to be separated again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hard thing about writing this is that it's from the point of view of Jaebum who is a top, and I always write stories from the bottoms perspective. (I know it doesnt seem like it makes a difference, but in my stories, the top is always a bit more dominating than the bottom, so I have to keep that in mind while writing in Jaebum's POV) That is why I think it's kinda shitty, because my writing style is a bit weird from this point of view lol.
> 
> Anyway, I'm glad people seem to be enjoying it!!


	7. Chapter 7

“How much longer do we have together before we need to be separated again?”

Jaebum blinked, unsure if he had heard Jinyoung correctly.

“ _ What? _ ”

The couple had been having a pleasant time; after waking up in each others arms and sharing meaningful touches and kisses, everything seemed to be going fine. Jaebum definitely wasn't complaining, and he thought it was pretty much the end of the unnecessarily long pining for Jinyoung. They had worked everything out through soft moans and needy breaths in the middle of the night, all was good.

Or at least, so Jaebum had thought. Until Jinyoung had thrown out that question.

Then, Jaebum felt his heart drop to his stomach. What could Jinyoung possibly mean by that? Did they not settle this whole relationship confusion the night before? Did they not confirm that they both wanted each other more than just as quick hook up partners? Was that not made clear? Jaebum was just utterly confused, and the look he gave Jinyoung showed it.

“You know… I mean, how much longer can we…  do this without getting in trouble?” Jinyoung clarified.

Jaebum furrowed his brows, not understanding why Jinyoung suddenly assumed that they'd get in trouble for something. “Trouble? Jinyoung, what are you talking about? This is so sudden…”

“I mean… we can't stay in a relationship like this and have it not interfere with our jobs… someone will find out, and maybe they'll tell the company…” Jinyoung stated, his eyes filled with worry.

Jaebum instinctively cupped his cheek, his thumb running over the soft skin of Jinyoung's face. He was concerned about Jinyoung's train of thought, wondering why it suddenly became so negative. “Jinyoung… where is this all suddenly coming from?”

Jinyoung sighed, shaking his head. His eyes were focused elsewhere besides Jaebum, the latter able to see the troubling thoughts run through his mind. “I don't know, I've just been thinking about it… our time is limited, Jaebum…”

Jaebum shook his head, tugging Jinyoung closer to him as if the younger was about to escape. “No, no it's not, we can always be together.”

Jinyoung shook his head again, his hand gripping Jaebum's wrist tightly. “No we can't, it wont work, we’ll definitely get caught and we'll be in serious trouble. I can't live without the group… but I can't live without you either…”

“You don't have to. We never have to. Why are you so convinced that someone will find out?” Jaebum asked.

“the other members will eventually see that something is…  _ different _ about us… we don't know how they'll react…” Jinyoung responded, worry covering his face.

Jaebum could see how that could happen, since the other members knew them like the back of their hand, and they could easily spot a change in their behavior. Yet, Jaebum couldn’t see that completely being a bad thing. Maybe they  _ should _ tell the others, to take some of the pressure off of themselves. “I agree that one of the others will notice our more  _ intimate _ relationship, but they won't just expose it so plainly like that…”

Jinyoung sighed, no matter what argument Jaebum brought up, he still seemed completely hopeless.“We don't know that though… “

“So let's find out, let's just tell them.” Jaebum said casually, trying to make it sound like it wasn't that big of a deal.

Jinyoung's eyes widened, his grip on Jaebum tightening after hearing the suggestion “No! No, we cant tell anyone…”

“Jinyoung…” Jaebum pulled Jinyoung against him, the younger’s head fitting comfortably on his chest. He could feel Jinyoung take in a deep breath, drawing in the scent of Jaebum that he’s become addicted to.

“Jaebum please, I don't want to lose you completely. It's one thing to just separate from you a bit for the sake of the group and our relationship, but it's another thing to be unwillingly pulled away from you because we got caught…” Jinyoung stated, worry laced and woven all throughout his voice.

Jaebum didn’t enjoy hearing these thoughts, since they put him in a bit of a negative mood, but Jaebum believed that there was a solution to everything, and even if there wasn’t, Jaebum wouldn't easily allow anyone to pull him away Jinyoung. “Jinyoung, I get what you're saying, but I think we should tell the others… they'll support us fully, I know they will, and we shouldn't hold back our relationship because we're afraid to get in a bit of trouble, have more faith…”

“But it's not just a little bit, well get severely punished, or worse…” Jinyoung mumbled, still going through the list of everything that could possibly go wrong because of their relationship.

Jaebum knew this side of Jinyoung well, he’s seen it many times before. It was the side of Jinyoung that thinks all is hopeless and that there is little to no chance of things working out. Jaebum knew this side of Jinyoung so well because there had been many times that Jinyoung's been through this, always putting himself and others down because of his negative thinking. Jaebum wanted to change that though. He  wanted to be the person that could actually put some hope into Jinyoung's heart.

Jaebum pulled away from Jinyoung to look the younger in the eyes, wanting his message to get across clearly to him. “No one else has to know but you, me, and the five other people we live with that we trust more than anyone else. It’ll be like how we normally live, on the outside we’re group mates that love making music together, but behind closed door, we’re a couple that’s enjoys being together and won’t let anything get in between that. Sound good?”

Jinyoung's eyes searched Jaebum's face, as if he were trying to find some other reason to protest their relationship.“I-It does, but…”

Jaebum needed to get Jinyoung's mind completely off of the subject in general. He understood the younger not being confident in the relationship working out smoothly, but they at least needed to try before completely knocking it down. What Jaebum wanted at that moment was to just bask in the feelings of love and affection they had for each other, not worry about the company, their jobs, o even the other members. He wanted to just focus himself all on Jinyoung. 

Jaebum moved a strand of hair out of the younger’s face, seeing the concerned facial expression of the him. He leaned in closer, Jinyoung's eyes widening a bit as their faces were suddenly only centimeters apart. “Don’t say ‘but’. If you worry too much, it’ll show on your beautiful face, and then people will really notice something's wrong.”

Jinyoung furrowed his brows, Jaebum already knowing that he would argue with him again. “But Jaebum, I’m just saying that-“

Jaebum brought his finger to Jinyoung's lips, shutting the younger up. “Shh, less talking. Focus on me, okay? I’m all you need right now, nothing else.” Jaebum stated as he moved even closer and lightly pressed his lips to Jinyoung's jaw.

“J-Jaebum.” Jinyoung stuttered, lightly grabbing Jaebum's arm that was pulling his body closer.

Jaebum moved lower, his lips trailing across Jinyoung's neck.“You like me, don’t you?” He asked in his low toned voice that sent goosebumps across Jinyoung's skin.

“Yes…” Jinyoung mumbled while tilting his head back to allow Jaebum more access to his skin, even though he was trying not to react too much to the elder's touches.

Jaebum’s hand travelled down Jinyoung's body, gently caressing the younger’s hips, to his thighs, to his peachy cheeks. “You  _ really _ like me?”

Jaebum's hand found its way to Jinyoung's crotch, squeezing the half hard member hidden in Jinyoung's pants. Jinyoung gasped, biting down on his bottom lip. “Yes, Jaebum yes…” 

“Then trust me. Everything will be fine. Let it all go.” Jaebum whispered into Jinyoung's ear, nibbling at the shell as his hand massaged the increasingly hard member in between Jinyoung's legs.

“Jaebum…” Jinyoung whimpered in protest, his soft breaths against Jaebum’s cheek increasing the more he was touched.

“Jinyoung, let go.” Jaebum repeated as his hand dipped into the younger’s bottoms to wrap around his erection that was forming.

“Jaebum-!” Jinyoung moaned, his hands gripping onto Jaebum's arm.

Jaebum rolled himself over to hover over Jinyoung, his lips still travelling slowly across the younger’s skin. “Shh, baby just let it all go. You like this, don’t you?”

Jinyoung shuddered as Jaebum’s hand pushed up his shirt, exposing the skin underneath to the cool air as the elder brushed over his nipple. “... Y-Yes…” Jinyoung admitted breathlessly, his body reacting to even the slightest touch of Jaebum’s fingers.

“Okay, then let me give you more. Don’t think about anything else but me. I want to please you and touch you and taste you because I want you and no one is going to come between that, okay?” Jaebum asked, pushing himself down onto Jinyoung, their crotches meeting in a delicious grind against one another.

Jinyoung moaned in response, his mind now free of the worry he had just moments ago, the negative thoughts being replaced with the incredible sensations he felt from Jaebum.

Jaebum sucked bruises into the younger’s neck, not even thinking about how they’d show up later. He didn’t want to think about later anymore. He just wanted to bask in the present, and he wanted Jinyoung to do the same. All of these thoughts of their future would surely be the death of them, since they both would be too scared of the consequences they’d face to stay together. Therefore Jaebum wanted to wipe those thoughts away, whether he did it with his hands, or lips, or tongue; he wanted to rid the both of them of these scary scenarios and focus on each other.

Jaebum pulled off Jinyoung's shirt, gazing down at the younger's bare milk tan skin. He slid his hand down the front of Jinyoung's torso, watching goosebumps form from the light touch. Jinyoung looked at Jaebum with the utmost amount of desire pooling in his eyes, his face already blushed a rosy pink.

“Jinyoung you're beautiful, do you know that? Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked as he dipped down and placed his mouth against the nubs on Jinyoung's chest.

“Jaebum…” Jinyoung groaned in response, shuddering under the feel of Jaebum's tongue flicking at his nipple. 

“So pretty. You're so pretty…” Jaebum mumbled, kissing down Jinyoung's stomach while continuing to pour out compliments. He wanted to let out everything he'd been holding back for years. All the times he's wanted to compliment Jinyoung, he didn't, thinking that it might be too much. Yet even with Jaebum holding back, Jinyoung was the one who received most of his infrequent praises anyway. He couldn't tell if Jinyoung liked the complements or not, but he didn't care either way, because he wanted to express just how much he adores literally everything about the younger.

Jaebum reached Jinyoung's bottoms, not hesitating to tug them down the younger's legs to reveal the erection that was hidden in them. He watched it spring out and rest on the younger's stomach; it twitching a bit as Jinyoung was at the peak of his arousal. Jaebum wrapped his hand around Jinyoung’s member, the younger's breath hitching as he squeezed a bit of pressure to it.

“J-Jaebum…” Jinyoung said breathlessly, squirming under the elder's grasp.

“You've been saying my name a lot. It sounds nice.” Jaebum stated, smirking at Jinyoung who blushed a deeper shade of pink.

“But… th-this time it's because I want to do something…” Jinyoung said, obvious embarrassment coloring his face.

Jaebum's brows furrowed as he leaned away, allowing Jinyoung space to move and do whatever he was going to do. To Jaebum's surprised, Jinyoung sat up and pushed him down, pinning the elder under him. Jaebum's eyes widened, not expecting the sudden flip of positions. “Jinyoung what-...?”

Jinyoung cut Jaebum off with a feverish kiss, their teeth clashing a bit from the younger's slight roughness, yet Jaebum loved it. He groaned into the younger's mouth, not even having second thoughts as to why the dominance had switched from him to Jinyoung since he was too caught up in the younger's lips. Yet when Jinyoung pulled away from Jaebum slightly, his burst of confidence seemed to be non-existent, that everlasting blush on his cheeks, and eyes unable to meet Jaebum's.

“You always made me feel good, but I barely returned to favor, so…” Jinyoung trailed off, his hand not hesitating at all to dip into the front of Jaebum's pants to palm the elder's straining erection. “...I'd like to do that now…” Jinyoung mumbled.

Jaebum's immediate response was to roll his hips up into Jinyoung's hands, a desperate breath escaping him. He didn't stop Jinyoung at all, the younger busy at work taking Jaebum's pants and boxers off and throwing them to the side. Jaebum was a bit surprised at Jinyoung's swiftness, but once he saw the hunger in the younger's eyes when he saw Jaebum's erect member, Jaebum couldn't complain about it.

“Um… I'm not that good at this but…” Jinyoung confessed as he kneeled down between Jaebum's legs, his eyes never leaving the elder's member.

“It's fine Jinyoung. Anything I get from you is perfect, just-  _ fuck. _ ” Jaebum's head dropped down against the bed as Jinyoung nearly swallowed his cock down whole. Jaebum wasn't expecting it at all, but it seems that Jinyoung was eager to please Jaebum, and just the first bob of the younger's head on his length sent shivers through Jaebum's body.

Jinyoung sucked the elder carefully, seeming to need a minute or so to really get the hang of it. Once he'd gotten his preferred angle though, he quickened his speed, messy slurps and swallowing noises echoing through the room. Jaebum was shocked at just how far Jinyoung could take him, even with the occasional gags showing the existence of a reflex, Jinyoung was still able to take a good portion of Jaebum's length into his mouth.

Jaebum's hand found its way into Jinyoung's hair, tugging at it a little bit subconsciously. Yet Jinyoung moaned slightly at a particularly hard pull that Jaebum didn't mean to do, showing just how much he enjoyed hair pulling. Jaebum forgot about the younger's kinks, but with the helpful reminder, Jaebum knew how to make Jinyoung feel even better than he already did.

At the moment though, that was only a brief thought; the fact that Jinyoung's plump and kissable lips were wrapped tightly around his member taking priority in his mind. Jaebum dared to look down at the younger who was so focused on his task, yet oblivious as to just how hot he looked in between Jaebum's legs. Jinyoung glanced up at Jaebum, their eyes meeting briefly in an intimate stare that didn't last that long because of a really hard suck Jinyoung gave that made Jaebum's head loll back. 

He gripped tighter at Jinyoung's hair, pulling the younger off of him with a few tugs. Jinyoung came up with a lewd pop, licking his lips of the mess he made. Jaebum gazed at the younger's reddened lips and drool covered chin, before attacking him with a rough kiss, messy and uncalculated which completely differed from their usual behavior.

“You did so well, it felt amazing.You didn't have to.” Jaebum whispered against Jinyoung's lips,the younger seeming happy that he's done something to satisfy Jaebum. Jaebum knew that part of Jinyoung's personality was to please others, and he also knew that Jinyoung liked to get recognized for his hard work, even though he didn't express it often. Jaebum knew exactly what to say to make Jinyoung smile, even though Jinyoung would hide it most of the time.

“I wanted to do it. I wanted you to feel as good as I feel.” Jinyoung stated, falling back as Jaebum gently pushed him down to the mattress, flipping positions once again.

“I feel good just looking at you.” Jaebum said while leaving butterfly kisses down Jinyoung's neck, also watching as Jinyoung covered his grinning mouth and looked away.

“Why do you keep saying such mushy things?...” Jinyoung asked, even though the smile on his face didn't hide how much he enjoyed it.

Jaebum chuckled, his breath ghosting across Jinyoung's skin that bloomed with goosebumps. “I don't find it mushy when it's the truth…” he stated, making his way down Jinyoung's body.

“It… it… c-can't always be true…” Jinyoung said,  the feeling of Jaebum's hot breath against his skin driving him crazy.

Jaebum settled himself in between Jinyoung's legs, tugging the younger closer and spreading them wide. Jinyoung yelped, feeling the cool air hit his more private areas, but Jaebum didn't allow him to try and hide himself. 

“It's  _ always _ true, especially if I say it is. Like when I say your moans sound like angels singing to me. It's  _ definitely _ true.” Jaebum stares.

Jinyoung blushed, looking up at the ceiling. “Jaebum, don't say tha-”

Jinyoung cut himself off with a gasp then whine that stemmed from Jaebum's tongue dragging over his entrance. Jaebum gave a few experimental licks before pushing his tongue further against Jinyoung's puckering hole, the younger moaning and gripping the sheets.

“Seriously, amazing…” Jaebum mumbled, pulling Jinyoung's body closer to his face.

He held Jinyoung's thighs wide apart, pushing the fat of his round cheeks back to give himself more access. Jinyoung whimpered and shuddered, the feeling of Jaebum's tongue pressing against such a sensitive area already overwhelming.

Jaebum glanced up at the younger, Jinyoung's face blissed out in pleasure. Jaebum wanted to give Jinyoung more, he wanted to be closer to Jinyoung than he already was, he wanted their bodies pressed together in a sweaty mixture of limbs and skin. But he didn't want to go further than Jinyoung wanted to. He didn't want to push Jinyoung further than he should.

“Jinyoung…” he called, the younger looking down between his legs at the dark eyes that stared back at him. “I want more…” Jaebum confessed.

Jinyoung nodded in daze, his eyes full of anticipation. “Me too…” he admitted.

Jaebum shook his head, thinking that Jinyoung didn't get what he was trying to say. “No, Jinyoung I mean… i want to-”

Jinyoung sat up, locking eyes with the elder, now a look of desperation in them as he cut Jaebum off. “Jaebum I know. I'm saying I want it too, please… I want  _ you… all _ of you…”

Jaebum's eyes widened, making sure he had just heard the younger correctly. The way jinyoung was looking at him told him that he was serious, and that Jaebum had the permission he needed to go further. He didn't waste another moment, lapping at Jinyoung's entrance once more before circling the rim with his finger.

Jinyoung dropped back down against the mattress, already rolling his hips against Jaebum's fingers from just a light touch to his entrance. Jaebum looked up at Jinyoung once more, making sure it showed in the younger's face that he wanted everything Jaebum wanted in that moment.

He then pushed the digit in, watching as Jinyoung swallowed it up. Jinyoung seemed to hold his breath, only letting it out once Jaebum's finger had made it all the way in. Jaebum thrusted his finger in and out, watching as Jinyoung pushed back against them, soft moans and whimpers falling from his lips.

Jaebum added a second digit, stretching Jinyoung open more to accommodate for himself later. Jinyoung bit down on his bottom lip, the slight stretch seeming to bring more pleasure to him than uncomfort. Jaebum pushed his fingers as deep as he could reach, feeling around in the wet warmth of all that was Jinyoung.

He knew that there was that one spot that could have Jinyoung writhing against the sheets, and he curled his fingers eagerly just to find it. It didn't take long either to find, with Jinyoung gasping loudly and whining as soon as Jaebum's fingers brushed over it. He continued to thrust his fingers into Jinyoung, just to watch his reactions and hear his desperate cries.

“J-Jaebum please, I  _ need _ you…” Jinyoung whined, his hips bucking up as Jaebum's fingers rubbed against his prostate again.

Jaebum knew exactly what that mean, his heart beginning to race as he realized how far they were going. He did get Jinyoung's permission, yet it still seemed as if it were only in his imagination that he'd get the chance to be entwined with Jinyoung's body in a sensual way. He didn’t want to move things too fast, but Jinyoung was making that incredibly hard with just the less than pure words that leaked from his mouth.

“A-Are you sure baby? We can alway wait-“

“Fuck Jaebum  _ please _ , I’ve never been so sure in my life j-just do it  _ please.”  _ Jinyoung begged, cutting off Jaebum as his member leaked out a dollop of precum, the mixture of the pet name along with Jaebum's fingers stroking his most sensitive spots becoming too much.

Jaebum choked, needing a moment to get himself together and wrap his mind around what he’d just heard. He had Jinyoung begging for him, which for some reason aroused him so much that his own member twitched and leaked out a bit of clear substance. He didn’t intend on making the younger beg, but it was the hottest thing he’s heard escape Jinyoung's mouth… aside from his moans, that is.

Jaebum removed his fingers, not wanting to drag it on for too much longer. If Jinyoung so desperately wanted exactly what Jaebum wanted, then who was he to be denied? Jaebum climbed up over Jinyoung, hovering over the younger who already looked like a hot mess, and Jaebum could only imagine what he’d look like when they were through.

“Y’know Jinyoung, I think I’ve just found a kink of my own…” Jaebum admitted as he leaned down and kissed the corner of the younger’s mouth.

“R-Really?” Jinyoung asked a bit in surprise, yet he smiled as if he were glad that he wasn’t the only one with kinks.

Jaebum nodded, his hand running down Jinyoung's body to in between his own legs, pumping himself up for entry. “I like hearing you voice. I can get off just from that. Whether it’s moaning or begging, talking in that cute way you talk, and even singing; your voice can do things to me, and I can’t always hold myself back…”

Jinyoung had an everlasting blush on his face, and he covered his mouth with his hand even though it was obvious that he was grinning. Jaebum could only shower the younger with kisses, finding his reaction so adorable. Just a moment later though, Jinyoung's gaze was back on Jaebum in a darkened stare, lust oozing out of them seemingly more than it had before.

Jinyoung's legs widened, adjusting himself perfectly for Jaebum. “Then don’t hold back.”  He whispered, his body waiting ready to be wrecked.

Jaebum’s eyes widened, realizing that the further they go, the more sides of Jinyoung he sees. He never expected the shy and reserved man under him to so invitingly tell him to “not hold back”. The words in themselves were not dirty, but the context of them was what really drove Jaebum nuts.

He couldn’t argue though. He himself was too high with lust to even have second thoughts, resulting in him pushing into Jinyoung right then and there using his saliva and precum as lubricant. The fit was tight, and he hadn’t even warned Jinyoung before entering, the younger silently enduring it, squeezing his eyes shut and gripping tightly to Jaebum’s wrist. Jaebum entered as slowly as possible, afraid that any wrong move could hurt Jinyoung.

He eventually fit himself all the way in, and all he could feet was intense warmth, wetness, tightness, and the clenching of Jinyoung's walls around him. He groaned at the younger’s movements, needing to give himself a moment to get used to the intoxicating feeling of being inside Jinyoung. He could only imagine how it was for the younger who was tugging hard on his bottom lip, eyes still tightly shut and hand still squeezing Jaebum’s arm.

Jaebum leaned down to Jinyoung's ear, his hands caressing the younger’s body in soothing strokes. “Tell me when you’re ready baby, I don’t want to hurt you.” He whispered, kissing from the shell of Jinyoung's ear down to his cheek.

Jinyoung swallowed hard, his eyes slowly opening to gaze hazily up at Jaebum who was waiting patiently (but not really) for Jinyoung's ok to move. “C-Can you d-do it… hard?” The younger asked in a strained voice.

Jaebum could've nearly died. Jinyoung was full of surprises, and Jaebum was definitely not prepared for anything else that might come out of his mouth. Jaebum’s eyes really could've popped out of his head from how many times they’ve widened from something Jinyoung had said or done. Jaebum was always kept on his toes when it came to the younger.

“H-Hard?” He repeated in disbelief. He shook his head, needing to get his mind together over the mouthwatering thought of fucking into Jinyoung  _ hard _ . “J-Jinyoung, I don’t think it’s a good idea to-“

“ _ Please _ Jaebum, you feel s-so good, and I want all of y-you as hard as you can give it t-to me…” Jinyoung whined, gripping onto the elder's shirt.

Jaebum thought about it while removing his shirt, taking away Jinyoung's ability to grip onto anything besides him, the negatives of the decision still outweighing the positives. “Jinyoung, god, Jinyoung I’d like to but… I don’t think we should. We need to take things slow first. The last thing I want to do is hurt you…”

Jinyoung frowned, his face reddening most likely from embarrassment of asking in the first place. “I know… I’m s-sorry…”

Jaebum now felt bad even though he knew it was the right thing to do. He wanted to give Jinyoung everything he desired, but he knew that he couldn’t. At least not this time. He leaned down and kissed the younger’s forehead, rubbing his thumb over Jinyoung's plump cheeks.

“Don’t be sorry, I’ll still make you feel good.” Jaebum promised, and in that moment he pulled his hips back and pushed them forward into Jinyoung, the younger gasping and gripping tightly onto Jaebum’s arms that were placed beside his head.

Jaebum repeated the motion, already finding the friction of Jinyoung's walls against his member so addictive. He thrusted into Jinyoung slowly, but just enough to gain pleasure for the both of them. Small whimpers came out of Jinyoung, his head thrown back as Jaebum’s hips rocked so deliciously against him. There was already wet squelching sounds emanating from their movements played as background music for their ears.

Jaebum picked up the pace just a little, and that was when Jinyoung wrapped his arms around Jaebum’s neck, leaning up to rest his head on the elder's shoulder. His tiny pants ghosted against Jaebum’s ear, a few soft moans escaping him. Jaebum couldn’t get enough of these sounds, wanting to pull Jinyoung further apart until he was a writhing mess. 

Jinyoung's mouth was watering, and Jaebum watched the younger constantly use his tongue to coat his drying lips with a fresh layer of saliva, his plush mouth looking so delectable to Jaebum. He indulged in his craving to kiss the younger, pressing their lips together as his hips continued to move. Jinyoung groaned, especially when their tongues would dance together in a slow tango between their mouths.

“You’re so pretty Jinyoung, so very pretty…” Jaebum stated breathlessly against the younger’s lips, feeling Jinyoung's shaky breaths against his own.

Jaebum adjusted their angle, pulling Jinyoung closer and and continuing to fuck into him. After a few thrusts, Jinyoung's body tensed, his back arching up and legs shaking just a bit as a loud moan ripped through him. His arms tightened around Jaebum’s neck, his panting heavy and legs squeezing around Jaebum's waist.

“Fuck, Jaebum  _ fuck _ …..” he moaned out, his explicit vocabulary when overwhelmed with pleasure finally peeking out.

Jaebum figured that he hit the right spot, and continued to move his hips in the same angle. He pushed the younger’s thighs further back, almost folding him in half, just to get that perfect angle Jinyoung loved. It worked too, with Jinyoung moaning loudly with every thrust, his head pressed back into the mattress and Jaebum continued to shatter him to pieces.

Jaebum’s mind was overwhelmed with so many different things. The way Jinyoung sounded, and felt, and looked so needy and wrecked, he could barely take it. Jinyoung's constant clenching of his walls made Jaebum growl with hunger for more, a noise that he hadn’t even expected himself to make. He’d been trying to do things carefully, but with his mind clouded with the desire to take as much of Jinyoung as he could, he eventually gave himself permission to take the younger’s words earlier to heart and not hold back.

His hips moved faster than he could control, since Jinyoung felt too good and his moans were too addicting to slow down. Jaebum made sure to try and keep hitting the spots Jinyoung really reacted to, making the younger’s legs shake as he was brought closer to his high.

“Right there, right fucking there holy shit!” Jinyoung moaned aloud, his dull nails digging into Jaebum’s back just enough to probably leave light marks.

“You like it there? Feels good?” Jaebum asked, partially just to make sure he was doing alright and pleasing Jinyoung thoroughly.

“Yes Jaebum s-so good! It feels so g- “ Jinyoung cut himself off with a sob, as Jaebum refused to stop abusing his prostate. Jaebum found himself proud of being able to make Jinyoung like this, the usually calm and collected member becoming undone all because of him.

Jaebum’s hands went from Jinyoung's hips down to cup his ass, squeezing the infamous round cheeks in his palms. He decided to give one a little tap, testing the younger’s denial of a spanking kink because it seemed like the perfect time to do so. Jinyoung jolted, hissing as more precum leaked out of his member before moaning out a curse. Jaebum smirked, already knowing that Jinyoung was one who liked spanking, but he wanted to see the younger’s reaction for himself.

He gave the plump cheeks another smack, a bit harder than last time, and an outright filthy moan escaped Jinyoung, the younger not even caring about how erotic he sounded. Jaebum liked this a lot, and didn’t hesitate to repeat the action while continuing to fuck Jinyoung to pieces. The younger’s senses seemed overwhelmed, yet he didn’t complain at any of it, the mixture of plain with pleasure obviously something he was into.

Jaebum’s other hand grabbed Jinyoung's arms, pinning them down as he quickened his pace into the younger. Jinyoung's wrists were shaking in Jaebum’s palm, the fact that he couldn’t move them making him seem way more sensitive to everything. Jinyoung seemed on the verge of tears, the pleasure becoming way too much to handle, and Jaebum could tell he was nearing his end.

Jinyoung's moans were becoming shaky and broken, obvious signs of the younger nearing his climax. “Jaebum I’m so fucking close, I’m s-so close!” He whined.

Jaebum understood, pounding into Jinyoung's prostate with the intent of bringing him over the edge in his mind. “Cum baby, I want you to cum.” He mumbled into Jinyoung's ear.

“J-Jaebum!” Jinyoung yelped, his body beginning to shudder and shake under the elder.

“Let it go. You look so pretty like this.” Jaebum said, feeling how tightly Jinyoung's walls clenched around his length.

“F-Fuck, Jae-bum~” Jinyoung moaned as he finally came, his thighs squeezing around Jaebum as his body convulsed with his orgasm. Jaebum reaches down and pumped the white substance out of Jinyoung with his every thrust, the younger gasping desperately for air.

Jinyoung almost immediately pulled Jaebum down into a kiss, the rest of his moans and whimpers coming out into Jaebum’s mouth. Jaebum felt himself already close to the edge, needing just a bit more to tip him over.

And he got the tiny push he needed when Jinyoung pulled the elder down and whispered in his ear: “Please cum inside me, I want everything.”

Who was Jaebum to deny his baby?

Jaebum’s thrusted deep into Jinyoung, the younger whimpering from oversensitivity, and Jaebum would’ve felt bad if he didn't know that it would be over in the the next few moments, when Jaebum shot his liquids inside Jinyoung, burying his face into the younger’s shoulder as he came. His hips stuttered in motion as he rode out his high, pulling out as soon as he was finished so he wouldn’t hurt Jinyoung anymore.

Jaebum felt like he was on cloud nine, his lips placing kisses across Jinyoung's skin as he took in the smell of sex and Jinyoung's natural musk. He pulled Jinyoung closer to himself, even though they were just about as close as they could get, yet Jaebum wanted Jinyoung pressed against himself, sharing the warmth and feel of their bodies together. His lips eventually found their way to Jinyoung's, humming in contentment at the taste of the younger’s mouth.

“You’re absolutely stunning. Breathtaking. Your fucking amazing Jinyoung. ” Jaebum stated, parting away from the younger just enough to compliment him before deepening their kiss.

Jinyoung gripped onto Jaebum tighter, the action showing just how much he appreciated the elder's complements. “Jaebum…” he called once they parted, his head resting in the crook of Jaebum’s neck.

“Hmm?” Jaebum responded, even in his post-orgasm haze, he focused all of his attention on Jinyoung.

“I think I love you.” Jinyoung stated.

Jaebum's breath caught in his throat. Did he hear what he thought he heard? Or, maybe Jinyoung said something else? He lifted his head to look at Jinyoung, the younger’s eyes searching Jaebum's face for a reaction.

“What?” Jaebum asked, needing to clarify what just happened.

Jinyoung looked away, nervousness seeming to take over. “Um… I said… nevermind.”

Jaebum furrowed his brows, immediately shaking his head. “No, Jinyoung repeat it. What did you just say to me?”

“I said nevermind.” Jinyoung replied, seeming to be too scared to say it again.

Jaebum's heart dropped, now feeling as if he had scared the younger away. It wasn’t his intention to make Jinyoung nervous, he was just shocked at the sudden confession, if that’s really when he had heard. Jaebum cupped Jinyoung's cheeks with his hands, pressing their foreheads together in an attempt to soothe the younger.

“Jinyoung, please, don’t be nervous around me. Please tell me you said what I think you said.” Jaebum urged, needing to hear those words come out of his mouth again.

Jinyoung hesitated, the words he said earlier obviously had come out unintentionally, yet Jaebum had partially heard them, so he couldn’t lie and say he had never said them. “What do you think I said?” Jinyoung asked, flipping it back to Jaebum.

“I think you said you loved me.” Jaebum replied, eagerly waiting on Jinyoung to say anything in confirmation.

Jaebum’s heart nearly stopped though when Jinyoung shook his head. “I didn’t say that...”

Jaebum’s face fell, disappointment definitely showing in the way his shoulders slumped. He didn’t want to make Jinyoung feel bad, but he himself felt terrible about Jinyoung's denial of his words, especially right after doing such an intimate activity with him. Maybe Jaebum really did mishear him or something. Or maybe his reaction embarrassed Jinyoung too much to repeat it.

“I said…” Jinyoung continued, “I  _ think _ I love you.”  He finished, putting emphasis on the word “think”.

Jaebum's eyes lit up, his mood immediately being lifted. He didn’t care if Jinyoung wasn’t sure of his feelings yet, what mattered was the fact that Jinyoung confessed it in the first place, before Jaebum could even express his own feelings. His heart swelled with affection for Jinyoung, and he immediately embraced him, planting kisses across the younger’s face and neck, before placing a long one on his lips.

“You don’t know how happy that makes me.” He stated as he snuggled his face into Jinyoung's neck.

“Really? I thought you’d be a bit sad that I’m… not completely sure yet…” Jinyoung stated.

Jaebum shook his head, feeling just how fast Jinyoung's heart was beating against his chest and matching in rhythm with his own. “No, it just means that you almost love me, which just means that I need to make you love me, which I’m fine with.”

“Y-You can’t  _ make _ me love you.” Jinyoung stated, a blush creeping up on his face.

“I will.” Jaebum assured with newfound confidence.

“But-“ jinyoung's sentence was cut off by Jaebum’s lips, the younger melting into them as if it was their first time kissing. Neither of them got tired of each other, always getting lost in the taste of their mouths and the feel of the other's body against their own. Not even Jinyoung could keep himself together when it came to being with Jaebum, which gave more evidence of unexplainable feelings for the elder.

“I will. Because I love you too, and I’d do anything to be with you forever.” Jaebum stated, promising Jinyoung that he’d make the younger return the feelings of love.

Yet Jinyoung wasn’t sure if that was necessary, since he’d only said the word “think” out of unsurety of how Jaebum would react to his love confession. Jinyoung knew though, that Jaebum couldn't make him love him, because Jinyoung already did love him, and he planned on staying by Jaebum’s side forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!!! It was fun writing!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Idk how long this will be, probably not thay many chapters, but I just wanted to write more s m u t.
> 
> Fnfjsmdsksn well it kinda has a plot to it so??? I guess??? Idk lol I hope you enjoy.


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